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December 21, 2014

An Open Letter to the GOP

There we were, pacing around the White House compound searching for some ridiculous news conference promising words of wisdom from a pint-sized budget savior (the purported “lil superhero” never actually showed), when a scrap of what initially looked like litter fluttered across our path.

An Open Letter to the GOP

The hand-scrawled indictment was doing a little dance just outside the shutdown-shuttered Treasury building, twisting and twirling in the breeze like that impish grocery bag that broke up all the melodrama in “American Beauty.”

Its involuntary acrobatics made us, ever so briefly, forget about the ideological tug of war that’s kept the government on hiatus for going on two weeks.

Until, of course, we read the note.

The unidentified author really let the GOP have it, rebuking Republicans for abandoning the guiding principles of their forefathers in favor of the political flavor of the month.

“The Republicans have gone stupid … They will never again be the party of Lincoln … Stop your idiotic thinking just to stay with your group no matter what!” the unsigned missive raged.

HOH can’t help but wonder what would possess someone to pour their thoughts onto paper — Willard Intercontinental stationary, no less (Did they pause between bites of their $18 Angus cheeseburger to pen this? Or was the drafting done after the $9 pastry basket had been sufficiently picked over?) — and then casually discard the end product on the streets of D.C.

At the very least the mystery critic should have tacked the talking points to the door of the Capitol Hill Club, Martin Luther-style.

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