Ricin Man and His Trusty Dog, Moo Cow

By now you may have already heard the tale of the capture of Paul Kevin Curtis, an Elvis impersonator-turned-suspect for sending ricin to elected officials and who might also have believed he was being targeted for uncovering a refrigerator full of black market body parts.

But there’s always another side to every story and, the way Curtis tells it, it starts with a drive with a dog named Moo Cow. Full story

Spotify Access Is Spotty

The House is alive with the sound of music — well, almost.

Last week, staffers and members of Congress rejoiced to learn that they would regain access to Spotify, a popular music-streaming program, on the House network.

They would return to Capitol Hill from a two-week recess ready to pick up where they left off before the House computer overlords blocked the program for fear it would expose government computers to cyberattacks.
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House Toner Scams: Knowing Is Half the Battle

Hey, buddy, want to buy some cheap toner? Not so fast, the House inspector general says.

According to a memo sent to the congressional community from Inspector General Theresa Grafenstine, lawmakers are being targeted with increasing frequency by scammers who claim to sell toner at discounted prices — that are actually as much as 10 times the market rate.

“It is an unfortunate reality that toner vendors will attempt to take advantage of individuals who may be unaware of the existence of this scam,” Grafenstine reflected.
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Boehner’s Tours of Duty

So you came to the nation’s capital and you’re disappointed to learn that the White House is no longer offering public tours, a casualty of the sequester.

Never fear: Cruise director John A. Boehner has a backup activity the kids will love.

“I’m pleased to assure you that public tours of the United States Capitol will continue,” the Ohio Republican and Speaker wrote in a letter to his constituents on Wednesday. “I encourage you and your family to visit the U.S. Capitol during your trip to Washington, D.C.”
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Master of Ceremonies Schumer Ready for His Close-Up

Schumer is relishing his final days as master of ceremonies of the biggest event of the year — the presidential inauguration. (Bill Clark/CQ Roll Call)

Self-professed New York vegetable and Kelly Clarkson fan Sen. Charles E. Schumer showcased on Friday the two crystal vases to be presented to Barack Obama and Joseph R. Biden Jr.

Relishing his final days as master of ceremonies of the biggest event of the year — the presidential inauguration — the New York Democrat was in his favorite territory, the news conference, to offer a sneak peek at the two oversized, tapering etched-glass vases designed and donated by the Lenox Corp. Or, in his words: wine glasses.

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Pelosi and the Women of Photoshopping-gate

On the heels of her re-election as House minority leader, California Democrat Nancy Pelosi has already landed herself in a bit of hot water.

It isn’t over a controversial vote or legislative negotiation, though, but rather from an effort to preserve the historical record by, well, kind of making it up. On Thursday, the opening day of the 113th Congress, Pelosi’s staff orchestrated a photo shoot of all the House Democratic women. The photo the office released to the public, however, wasn’t the same photo taken earlier in the day.

What’s being sold as the “official” shot actually constitutes two pictures meshed together: the original group portrait of 58 lawmakers with four late-arrivals photo-edited into the back row to appear they were there the whole time.

Really, the stragglers – Florida Reps. Debbie Wasserman Schultz and Corrine Brown, and Reps. Yvette Clarke of New York and Shelia Jackson Lee of Texas – posed together in a separate photograph, Pelosi spokesman Drew Hammill explained. They arrived for the photo shoot on the Capitol steps just as their colleagues were dispersing.

Here’s the group shot captured by our own CQ Roll Call photographer:

(Douglas Graham/CQ Roll Call)

And here’s the version being distributed by Pelosi’s office:

(via Flickr)

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‘Tip’ Gets Top Spot on Capitol Hill

Last week, to mark what would have been Tip O’Neill’s upcoming 100th birthday, a pine oak tree was planted outside the Capitol. On Wednesday, the House voted to name a building in his honor.

Naming the federal office building at the intersection of Second and C streets Southwest after the Massachusetts Democrat wasn’t a hard sell for lawmakers: They gave voice vote approval to the measure jointly sponsored by House Speaker John A. Boehner, R-Ohio, and Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif.
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Congress, Working It

Want to solve congressional inaction on Capitol Hill? Maybe lawmakers should work five days a week like most Americans.

Interested in easing partisan gridlock? Try being open-minded about other ideas and allow input from both parties in the legislative process.
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What Would Mr. Darcy Do? Perhaps Get a Drink With Mark Takano

Interested parties, take note: Rep.-elect Mark Takano, who’s coming to Congress in January, has two weaknesses.

One is his love of Jane Austen.

HOH caught up with the California Democrat at the Capitol Hill Hotel, where Takano and his fellow frosh were put up for New Member Orientation.

Takano, holding a canvas bag full of dirty shirts, was looking for a place that would do his laundry for cheap. (FYI, he reported back later that the House’s laundry service charges $1.85 a shirt, much less than the hotel’s asking price.)

Full story

Cash Bar Sets Tone for GOP’s D.C. Gathering

Perhaps the Republican National Committee’s election night party was doomed from the beginning, when guests arrived to find a cash bar instead of a free-flowing booze-fest.

If not, it certainly didn’t help keep the crowds thick as the results slowly trickled in to show a bluer electoral map than red.

At the start of the evening, the Ronald Reagan Building in downtown Washington, D.C., showed signs of success. Organizers had been expecting huge crowds. The guests were, by and large, young and beautiful, with the women wearing elephant-print dresses and the men wearing bowties. People gladly paid for chips with which to buy rocks glasses of Johnnie Walker Red and flutes of champagne. The food was free, though, and the spread ranged from lobster mac n’ cheese to chicken satay. Full story

Fake Politican Seeks ID, Gets Mug Shot Instead

And now comes a bizarro story made even more strange by the fact that none of it really makes any sense if one (read: any reasonable person) knows how things work on Capitol Hill.

According to a Capitol Police report, officers on Oct. 11 responded to complaints that an “unwanted guest” had taken up residence in the Senate ID office “reading a newspaper.”

The “unwanted guest,” the report continues, claimed to be “a U.S. Senator who wanted a replacement Congressional ID.” He or she was removed, arrested and “transported to Headquarters for processing.”

First off, Congress is in the middle of a monthlong recess, and lawmakers don’t come back in town willy-nilly just to pick up a new ID badge. (Strike one.)

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‘H Street’ Gets Screen Time

Capitol Hill was deathly quiet during August. But enough people stuck around to liven up the Argonaut during a special screening of a show set in their ’hood, the new sitcom “H Street.”

Many in the crowd were ultimately — and some unwittingly — roped into serving as a test audience for the pilot.
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9-1-1 Was a Joke in This Town (But Only for a Few Hours)

Dialing 9-1-1 is supposed to be a foolproof system for summoning law enforcement or medical help in times of urgent physical need or danger. And the beauty of it is, it can be accessed through any phone line – except this morning on Capitol Hill.

Capitol Police emailed around an internal memo this morning informing the community that “due to scheduled maintenance of the U.S. Capitol Telephone Service, the emergency 911 phone line will be temporarily disabled until further notice.”

That alert was sent out shortly before 9:30 a.m. By 1:30 p.m., things were back up and running.

Turns out, the Senate side of the Capitol was the only area affected by the maintenance work. Still, if the Capitol is meant to be a fortress of safety, what happens when the No. 1 safety call number is not operational?

Capitol Police spokeswoman Lt. Kimberly Schneider said that while temporarily disabling the 911 function on Capitol Hill is extremely rare, nobody’s well being was at risk during the service break.

“The ability to reach the USCP to report emergencies is always available and staff were provided with an alternative number to our dispatchers,” Schneider said. “This is exactly the same location they’d reach if they dialed 911 from an office phone only. Or they can contact a nearby USCP officer … or call the detail office and the USCP will respond.”

HOH likes to give back to the community, so as a public service for Capitol Hill readers, Capitol Police can always be reached at 202-224-5151.

Former Democratic Staffer Charged With Assaults

Capitol Hill veterans might remember Donny Ray Williams Jr. as a 10-year Congressional staffer. That was in better times.

The 36-year-old, who was the staff director of the Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Subcommittee on State, Local and Private Sector Preparedness and Integration, was indicted on Tuesday in D.C. Superior Court on 10 counts, most of which relate to first- and second-degree assaults he allegedly perpetrated between July and December of 2010. He pleaded not guilty today. Full story

Capitol Tours? Sorry, Not for Sale

Want to party in the Capitol on July Fourth for $250?

You can’t. It’s against the law. But that didn’t stop some from trying.

On Wednesday, GiltCity.com, a website that offers package deals on food, fashion and cultural activities, advertised something fun for Independence Day: Buy a $250 ticket to sample dishes from celebrity chefs and view fireworks from inside the Capitol.

MADE: In America, a nonprofit dedicated to selling U.S.-made goods, has organized Independence Day celebrations in the Capitol before.

But the GiltCity.com marketing was a new twist that ran afoul of the law. Full story