Roll Call: Latest News on Capitol Hill, Congress, Politics and Elections
April 16, 2014

Posts by Jason Dick

106 Posts

April 13, 2014

Spring Forward With This Capitol Quip

Spring Forward With This Capitol Quip

Love is in the air! The cherry blossoms are blooming and members of Congress are getting spring fever. Just ask GOP Rep. Vance McCallister!  That brings us to this week’s Capitol Quip.

Send us a caption for this week’s contest by leaving it in the comments section. Editors will pick five finalists on Wednesday, and everyone can vote for the winner through Thursday.

To see our previous winners, check us out on Pinterest.

By Jason Dick Posted at 7:05 p.m.
Capitol Quip

Money Talks, and Politicians Walk | Capitol Quip

Money Talks, and Politicians Walk | Capitol Quip

Thanks to the many readers who contributed captions for last week’s Capitol Quip contest. Here’s the winning entry, as voted by readers of Heard on the Hill.

The winner will receive a signed color print suitable for framing from Roll Call cartoonist R.J. Matson. Check out our past winners on Pinterest.

By Jason Dick Posted at 7 p.m.
Capitol Quip

April 11, 2014

Grover Norquist’s Global Suckdom Index

Welcome to the suck. It’s not as bad as it seems. That was sounds-negative-actually-positive sentiment from Grover Norquist, head of Americans for Tax Reform, at a panel following Thursday night’s screening of Jose Antonio Vargas’ “Documented,” at the Newseum.

Grover Norquists Global Suckdom Index

Norquist, perhaps thinking about the GNGSI, at a Thursday tax event on Capitol Hill with Majority Leader Eric Cantor, right. (Tom Williams/CQ Roll Call.)

The documentary, which chronicles Vargas’ path as an undocumented immigrant and successful journalist and his involvement in the movement for ab immigration overhaul, played to a full house. After, Norquist joined Vargas, The Atlantic’s Megan Garber, producer Janet Yang and Joe Green, a founder of Fwd.us, to discuss the movie and the politics and culture that surround it.

Cue Norquist, one of Washington’s most lively: “The reason why the United States is the future and Japan is not and China is not and Europe is not, is because we do immigration and because we do it better than everyone else. As poorly as we do it, we do it better than everybody else, kind of like our government, it just sucks less than all the other governments. And that’s a big advantage: sucking less.”

So there you have it. The Grover Norquist Global Suckdom Index, over which the United States sits atop. USA! USA!

April 9, 2014

5 Hot Tips for the Political Stock Exchange | Capitol Quip

 5 Hot Tips for the Political Stock Exchange | Capitol Quip

The five finalists for this week’s caption contest are ready for your votes.

Using the comments section below, vote for your favorite caption until 5 p.m. ET Thursday.

Here are this week’s finalists:

  • Thanks to the Supreme Court, we’re ALL up!!!
  • They’ll never sell us short again!
  • The only time eight figures trump nine.
  • Looks like our stock is rising in this town!
  • In a word: Ka-Ching!

The cartoon with the winning caption will appear on this blog on April 13 and in the following print edition of Roll Call. The contest winner will receive a signed color print of his or her Capitol Quip cartoon from the cartoonist, R.J. Matson.

By Jason Dick Posted at 5:14 p.m.
Capitol Quip

Overheard: Eric Holder Goes Veggie on Louie Gohmert

“Good luck with your asparagus.”

— Attorney General Eric H. Holder Jr., directing his ire on Tuesday at Rep. Louie Gohmert, R-Texas. Last year, in another testy exchange between the two, Gohmert said, “The attorney general will not cast aspersions on my asparagus.”

April 8, 2014

Hill Staffers Swarm Taco Bell Tray, Terrify Server

Ustedes quieren Taco Bell!

Pity the poor Taco Bell employee who was tasked with delivering a tray of tacos to a gaggle of Hill staffers at a Tuesday reception in the Rayburn House Office Building.

“This reception shows no shame as staff fills up boxes and garbage bags of burritos,” our daring congressional staffer/tipster tell us. See for yourself:

April 6, 2014

Bruce Braley, in Need of a Good Lawyer? | Capitol Quip

Bruce Braley, in Need of a Good Lawyer? | Capitol Quip

Thanks to the many readers who contributed captions for last week’s Capitol Quip contest. Here’s the winning entry, as voted by readers of Heard on the Hill.

The winner will receive a signed color print suitable for framing from Roll Call cartoonist R.J. Matson. Check out our past winners on Pinterest.

April 3, 2014

‘Parts Is Parts’ in This #tbt HOH Item


Parts Is Parts in This #tbt HOH Item

Oh, the things we learn reading the HOH stacks, such as this gem from the Feb. 26, 1996 edition of Roll Call by reporter Craig Winneker:

Above and Beyond Dept. The things Members do to help constituents. Consider the following letter from Rep. Joe Knollenberg (R-Mich) to Agriculture Department official P. Scott Shearer:
“Dear Mr. Shearer: I am writing to you on behalf of Mr. R. Miles Handy II, President, Oink-Oink Inc., 15526 Dale, Detroit, MI 48223.
“According to Mr. Handy, The United States Department of Agriculture was allowing Oink-Oink to purchase pork penises for use as a pet treat. They were purchasing the raw product from Iowa Packing Company. After several months of doing so, the USDA began to ‘dye the raw penises green.’ As a result of this, Oink-Oink Inc. is unable to use them because of this discoloration.
“I would greatly appreciate your comment on this situation.”
Knollenberg’s press secretary, Frank Maisano, told HOH Friday that “as far as our pets are concerned, parts is parts.”
He added that the Congressman was concerned “about Michigan jobs and allowing our pets to have the choices they deserve.”
Oh, and HOH suggests checking the label on Fido’s next box of biscuits.

By Jason Dick Posted at 1:27 p.m.
#tbt

April 2, 2014

Five Captions for Bruce Braley to Ponder | Capitol Quip

Five Captions for Bruce Braley to Ponder | Capitol Quip

The five finalists for this week’s caption contest are ready for your votes.

Using the comments section below, vote for your favorite caption until 5 p.m. ET Thursday.

Here are this week’s finalists:

  • I wouldn’t bet the farm on him.
  • He better keep his foot in there until after the election …
  • He’s gonna need a personal injury attorney …
  • I think he’ll be cowed into retracting his comment.
  • Looks like he’s picked up the dreaded “foot-in-mouth” disease.

The cartoon with the winning caption will appear on this blog on April 6 and in the following print edition of Roll Call. The contest winner will receive a signed color print of his or her Capitol Quip cartoon from the cartoonist, R.J. Matson.

By Jason Dick Posted at 4:37 p.m.
Capitol Quip

March 30, 2014

Bruce Braley’s Guide to Stepping in It | Capitol Quip

Bruce Braleys Guide to Stepping in It | Capitol Quip

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, campaign gaffe season! Rep. Bruce Braley, D-Iowa, who is running for Senate, stepped into it with some impolitic comments about his home-state colleague, Republican Sen. Charles E. Grassley, being a farmer without a law degree. This brings us to this week’s Capitol Quip.

Send us a caption for this week’s contest by leaving it in the comments section. Editors will pick five finalists on Wednesday, and everyone can vote for the winner through Thursday.

To see our previous winners, check us out on Pinterest.

By Jason Dick Posted at 7:05 p.m.
Capitol Quip

Quite a Workout for This Capitol Quip

Quite a Workout for This Capitol Quip

Thanks to the many readers who contributed captions for last week’s Capitol Quip contest. Here’s the winning entry, as voted by readers of Heard on the Hill.

The winner will receive a signed color print suitable for framing from Roll Call cartoonist R.J. Matson. Check out our past winners on Pinterest.

March 26, 2014

Shirtless Senators Take a Swing at These Capitol Quips!

Shirtless Senators Take a Swing at These Capitol Quips!

The five finalists for this week’s caption contest are ready for your votes.

Using the comments section below, vote for your favorite caption until 5 p.m. ET Thursday.

Here are this week’s finalists:

  • I don’t think our tough guy act is working.
  • C’mon — shirtless worked for Putin!
  • It feels good for us to be beating up on Russia rather than on each other for a change!
  • The winner takes on Putin in a shirtless staring contest.
  • It’s a good thing we work out with dumbbells.

The cartoon with the winning caption will appear on this blog on March 30 and in the following print edition of Roll Call. The contest winner will receive a signed color print of his or her Capitol Quip cartoon from the cartoonist, R.J. Matson.

By Jason Dick Posted at 3:27 p.m.
Capitol Quip

March 16, 2014

File Under ‘No Longer Top Secret Hard Feelings’ | Capitol Quip

 File Under No Longer Top Secret Hard Feelings | Capitol Quip

Senate Intelligence Chairwoman Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif., and CIA Director John O. Brennan are engaged in an epic combat strategy game over congressional oversight of the intelligence community, and the whole world is watching. That brings us to this week’s Capitol Quip.

Send us a caption for this week’s contest by leaving it in the comments section. Editors will pick five finalists on Wednesday, and everyone can vote for the winner through Thursday.

To see our previous winners, check us out on Pinterest.

By Jason Dick Posted at 7:05 p.m.
Capitol Quip

Freedom of Amplification? | Capitol Quip

 Freedom of Amplification? | Capitol Quip

Thanks to the many readers who contributed captions for last week’s Capitol Quip contest. Here’s the winning entry, as voted by readers of Heard on the Hill.

The winner will receive a signed color print suitable for framing from Roll Call cartoonist R.J. Matson. Check out our past winners on Pinterest.

By Jason Dick Posted at 7 p.m.
Capitol Quip

March 12, 2014

Five Ways to Cut Off the Mic | Capitol Quip

Five Ways to Cut Off the Mic | Capitol Quip

The five finalists for this week’s caption contest are ready for your votes.

Using the comments section below, vote for your favorite caption until 5 p.m. ET Thursday.

Here are this week’s finalists:

  • Your captions will be duly noted.
  • Freedom of speech does not ensure the right to amplification.
  • I’m the chairman. I can outblurb you.
  • I think this only means one thing … I’m now the story! AGAIN!
  • Ain’t I a stinker?

The cartoon with the winning caption will appear on this blog on March 16 and in the following print edition of Roll Call. The contest winner will receive a signed color print of his or her Capitol Quip cartoon from the cartoonist, R.J. Matson.

By Jason Dick Posted at 4:37 p.m.
Capitol Quip
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