Big Party Pants
Posted at 12:01 a.m. on July 30, 2012
Bonobos can mean only two things: a species of chimpanzee or a preppy brand of men’s clothing. This fall, Bonobos, the clothing brand, is unveiling its brand-spanking-new election critter pant. It’s not just stylish. It might also be 2012’s election predictor.
That is correct, finally a pant that is not only the perfect gift for that partisan prepster in your life but also a metric for which candidate will win. Show him how much you care by buying him a pair of pants with donkeys or elephants sprinkled down his well-tailored trouser leg.
Beginning this fall, you can hand over $128 to buy a pair of Republican critter pants, which are “classic washed chinos, Jet Blues with elephant detailing.” For the Democrat in your life, spring for a pair of those “Chino grigios with donkey detailing” he’s always wanted.
Stands to reason that whoever buys the most partisan pants wins, no?
But wait! There’s more. Even If you don’t buy these pants, you can still use a feature on the Bonobos homepage that keeps track of which critter pants are selling better.
So, go ahead and buy that special male partisan a pair of those critter pants he didn’t know he wanted. He’ll say, “Thank you, friend, for these new, well-tailored pants with these embroidered donkeys and/or elephants running up and down my leg!”
And you’ll smile and say: “You’re welcome! Now, proud new owner of a pair of partisan pants, get thee online and see who will win the presidential pant-lection!”
These special trousers will be on sale from September 2012 through the general election unless, of course, they sell out first.