Roll Call: Latest News on Capitol Hill, Congress, Politics and Elections
November 24, 2014

Capitol Quip: Roll Call’s New Political Cartoon Caption Contest

Capitol Quip: Roll Calls New Political Cartoon Caption Contest

Test your wit with Capitol Quip, a new weekly cartoon caption contest in which Roll Call readers supply the captions and vote for the winner.

Every Monday, a new, unfinished cartoon by R.J. Matson will appear on this blog.

To complete the joke, enter as many captions as you like in the Comments section below. Entries will be accepted until noon Wednesday.

Five finalists, selected by CQ Roll Call editors, will be posted online Wednesday afternoon. Readers can vote for their favorite caption until 5 p.m Thursday.

The cartoon with the winning caption will appear in this spot the next Monday, along with an unfinished cartoon for a new contest. Contest winners will receive a signed color print of their Capitol Quip cartoon.

Matson has been an editorial cartoonist at Roll Call, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch and The New York Observer. His cartoons and illustrations have also appeared in The New Yorker, The Washington Post, MAD magazine and Rolling Stone.

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  • stoutfamily5@comcast.net

    Two, four, six, eight…who do we depreciate?

    • Anonymous

      “Oh, no, not I, I will survive!
      As long as I can gerrymander, I know I’ll stay alive…”

    • Anonymous

      SQUIRREL

  • stoutfamily5@comcast.net

    The sun will come out, tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar on tomorrow.

  • stoutfamily5@comcast.net

    It’s fun to stay at the YMCA…YMCA

    • Anonymous

      You beat me to it! (Good job.) ;)

  • stoutfamily5@comcast.net

    Hit the road, Jack, and don’t you come back no more, no more…

    • Anonymous

      CLOWNS TO LEFT OF ME, CLOWNS TO THE RIGHT….

  • stoutfamily5@comcast.net

    If you want my money, and you think I’m sexy, come on Sugar tell me so….

  • edwillis08@gmail.com

    Heeeeey Macarena!!

  • Anonymous

    I could not put it in the cartoon, but my entry is, if we don’t start dancing with this guy, we’ll be out of a job.

  • edwillis08@gmail.com

    And if I ever (EVER FALL) in love (AGAAAIN), I will be sure that the lady is a friieeend…

  • Anonymous

    PLAY ‘DIXIE’ DAMMIT1

  • emilyp.rollcall@gmail.com

    Hit me with your best shot

  • emilyp.rollcall@gmail.com

    Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow

  • Anonymous

    Presenting the MITTENS 5 with their rendition of “I’d rather be BLUE thinking of YOU than be HAP-HAP-HAPPY with SOMEBODY NEW…

  • Anonymous

    You won one election. We won 278. See you back on the Hill.

  • richaz@charter.net

    IT’S A T.V.VIDEO INAUGURAL GIFT HONEY: “THE CROONIN CAPITOL CRONY’S
    GREATEST HITS”: “EVERY BODYS DOIN A LOCO MOTION” “GRAB A FORK & PASS SOME PORK” “BIDEN, BIDEN,BIDEN, HIS MOUTH ALWAYS OPEN WIDENED” & THEIR LATEST BALLAD “TAKE NO THOUGHT FOR THE MORROW,
    FOR FROM CHINA WE SHALL BORROW” FEATURING PELOSI & FINESTEIN SINGING BARACK-UP ON MANY OF THESE FINE CLASSICS.
    BUTT WEIGHT! THERE’S MORE!………………………………….

    • richaz@charter.net

      ANOTHER T.V. VIDEO GIFT FOR YOUR INAUGURATION SWEETY; ITS:
      “ROMNEY & THE REPUBLICANS” DOING THERE SOUL ALBUM:
      PAPA’S GOT A BRAND NEW BAG, STORMY SUNDAY BLUES, MESS AROUND, SWEET HOME CHICAGO?,
      HIT THE ROAD JACK, I GOT A WOMAN-(PELOSI?)-,
      AND THEIR LATEST RELEASE: HOLD ON, I’M COMIN, DIGITALLY RE-MASTERED,,NOT AVAILABLE IN STORES, P&H NOT INCLUDED
      BY: THE REPLUBLICAN BLUES MUSICIAN.

  • Anonymous

    How can I block you, let me count the ways!

  • truebluepat@gmail.com

    I can’t get no Satisfaction……

  • richaz@charter.net

    Very superstitious, nothin’ more to say

    Very superstitious, the devil’s on his way

  • richaz@charter.net

    DEVIL IN THE BLUE DRESS BLUE DRESS DEVIL WITH THE BLUE
    DRESS ON……………………

  • richaz@charter.net

    OH YES I’M THE GREAT PRETENDER

  • bhawco@cox.net

    The Capitol “Jersey Boys” performing their greatest hit “Big Boys Don’t Cry”

  • royalcrowncola8@yahoo.com

    “He’s not stepping on any toes tonight.”

  • mafuller64@gmail.com

    “Look! It’s Beyonce!”

  • omt2_2000@yahoo.com

    Rome is burning.

  • stoutfamily5@comcast.net

    Watch out, Joe Biden wants to cut in.

  • Anonymous

    Oh, it’s the same old song…

    But with a different meaning

    With the Democrats so strong!

  • Anonymous

    Oh it’s the same old song…

    But with a different meaning

    Cause the Dems are so strong

  • Anonymous

    “Burn, Baby Burn! Congress inferno!
    Burn, Baby, Burn! Burn that ceiling down!”

  • richaz@charter.net

    BIDEN, BIDEN, BIDEN, LOOKOUT HERE HERE COMES JOE BIDEN, ROLL CALL, ROLL CALL;
    HELL BENT FOR LEATHER, HE CAN’T KEEP THEM LIPS TOGETHER;
    B.O. NEVER KNOWS WHAT HE’S GONNA SAY.

    BIDEN, BIDEN, BIDEN, LOOKOUT HERE HERE COMES JOE BIDEN, JAWS WIDE, JAWS WIDE
    WE’RE ON T.V. IN ’29, F.D.R. IS PREZ, THEY GOT A PLAN TO FIX US ALL THAT’S WHAT OL’ JOE SEZ
    ROLL CALL, ROLL CAAALLLLLL………….
    HEAD EM UP, MOVE EM OUT, HEAD EM UP, MOVE EM OUT,
    ROLL CALL!

    BY
    RICH THE ROWDY REPUBLICAN?

  • richaz@charter.net

    SCREW THE CONSTITUTION, WRITIN’S ON THE WALLS,
    $%&!* THE CONSTITUTION, ECHOS THRU OUR HALLS,
    FOUR MORE MORE YEARS OF BAD LUCK,
    GOOD THINGS IN OUR PAST;
    WE BELIEVE IN THINGS YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND,
    CAN’T HAVE NO CONSTITUTION, IT JUST GETS IN OUR WAY.

    BY:LITTLE RICHIE WONDER(DEM. IL)?

    • Anonymous

      “Lucy in the sky-yy with diamonds…”

    • richaz@charter.net

      SCREW THE CONSTITUTION, WRITIN’S ON THE WALLS,
      $%&!* THE CONSTITUTION, ECHOS THRU OUR HALLS,
      FOUR MORE MORE YEARS OF BAD LUCK,
      GOOD THINGS IN OUR PAST;
      WE BELIEVE IN THINGS YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND YOU SAY,
      CAN’T HAVE NO CONSTITUTION, IT JUST GETS IN OUR WAY.

      BY:LITTLE RICHIE WONDER(DEM. IL)?

      CORRECTED@LITTLE RICHIE. SORRY

  • http://www.rollcall.com/reporters/7.html Emily Pierce

    Hit me baby one more time

  • Anonymous

    Here’s the all new Village People, wanta dance Obama

  • paul@thiemannop.com

    Sequestered on the first, exchanging glances wondering what is worse, what are the chances debt will be increased……

  • art@hackney2.com

    Ain’t nothing getting through to you, you’re deaf as a stone,

    You don’t care just where you’re going, long as you get there alone,

    You’re dancing crazy on a ship that you know’s gonna sink,

    But you’re dancing to my music so you don’t have to think!

    Go ahead and dance, damn it, go ahead and dance!

  • rjcroce@valassis.com

    R-E-S-P-E-C-T !

  • Lwelch@pbcgov.org

    “We could have had it ALLLLL-LLL… Rollin’ in the Dough-oh oh!”
    “We had the vote inside of our hands, but we lost it, lost it with a beating.”

  • gary.gallant@bingham.com

    “One Way Or Another … We’re gonna subpoena ya … We’re gonna impeacha peacha peacha ya.”

  • art@hackney2.com

    We need a hero
    We’re holding out for a hero who can rescue the right
    She’s gotta be strong
    But she’s gotta be sweet
    And she’s gotta be other-than-white

    We need a hero…

  • Anonymous

    “This what it must have felt like on the Titanic”

  • danjdrummond@hotmail.com

    Hail to the Chief we have chosen for the nation,
    Hail to the Chief! We salute him, one and all.
    Hail to the Chief, as we pledge cooperation
    In proud fulfillment of a great, noble call.
    Yours is the aim to make this grand country grander,
    This you will do, that’s our strong, firm belief.
    Hail to the one we selected as commander,
    Hail to the President! Hail to the Chief!

  • mburke@rivernetwork.org

    We see the world in one dimension…Oooh…We only see through our dementia…Aaah…And we want to tell you this…Chemistry is what we are…

  • Anonymous

    Now, there are some real flat line “Jackasses”, don’t you think?

  • Anonymous

    Brother can you spare me a dime?

  • Anonymous

    So, America Are You Ok
    Are You Ok America
    You’ve Been Hit By
    You’ve Been Hit By-
    A Smooth Criminal

  • beeker25@bellsouth.net

    We thought our plan was to make you a one term President but look the Tea Party folks screwed it up!

  • jeremy2newman@gmail.com

    “We’ve Lost that loving feeling” or “Que sera sera” or “It’s Hip to be Square” or “We like ike for 16″ or Its a grand old old flag…everybody!…Newt where are you going?

  • sorrelmae@gmail.com

    Don’t stop believing!

  • prquillen@verizon.net

    Après nous, le deluge!

  • jacquestratton@gmail.com

    Neither one of us wants to be the first to say good-bye…
    Barack Obama and the Pips

  • Anonymous

    Snow white, the prince and the dwarfs.
    hi ho, hi ho, its off to play we go!!!!!!

  • ajai_tripathi@saa.senate.gov

    O O Obama Sire
    Our pocket books are on fire
    The debt ceiling is haywire
    Please show us some desire

  • Anonymous

    “Is this the real life?
    Is this just fantasy?
    Caught in a landslide…”

  • earl_john@mac.com

    Dont stop doing what you do Keep doing what you do do do you do you Do …

  • Anonymous

    It takes two PARTIES to tango!

  • Anonymous

    “Is this the real life?
    Is this just fantasy?
    Caught in a landslide…”

  • nycounselor01@aol.com

    “Is this the real life?
    Is this just fantasy?
    Caught in a landslide…”

  • bizdudes@gmail.com

    Don’t make us do the FULL MONTY!

  • ldavis@npca.org

    Beauty, (the Prez) and the Beastie Boys.

  • Anonymous

    He don’t love you
    Like I love you…

  • kolawolej@saic.com

    Aint no woman like the one he’s got.

  • kolawolej@saic.com

    R-E-S-P-E-C-T, that aint what you mean to me.

  • Anonymous

    “There’s got to be a morning after…Let’s keep on looking for the light.”

  • tmccuin@brtrc.com

    Stop! In the name of love. Before you break the bank…

  • richaz@charter.net

    ITS THE DNC RAP GROUP’S NEW ONE DEAR,

    “SIT RITE DOWN, GRAB A FORK, DIANE & NANCY GONNA PASS SOME PORK,
    BOTTLE O’ WINE, POP THE CORK, MAKE ‘EM THINK YOU’RE MORK FROM ORK,
    HERE COMES REID, BRINGIN WEED, HE’S GOT COKE , IT AIN’T NO JOKE ,
    CALL B.O. SAY PAY HEED, SPOON AND CANDLES ALL WE NEED,
    WE’LL BE ON OUR AXIS, HIGH AS TAXES, NOTHIN ANY FINA THAN MORE
    DEBT TO CHINA”
    MAO MAO MAO MAO MAO ……………..
    RICHIE THE REP.RAP RITER

    • richaz@charter.net

      AH, AH, AH, AH STAYIN ALIVE STAYIN ALIVE

      BACKSIDE REPUBLICAN

  • richaz@charter.net

    SOUNDS LIKE THAT OLD B.P. SONG
    “IN THE SPILL OF THE NIGHT”

  • richaz@charter.net

    THANKS TO YOU WILLIAM MAHER
    YOU HAVE MADE ME A STAR
    OH RAHM ,TAHM, TAHM, OH O O O
    TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR….

    BY RICHIE

  • art@hackney2.com

    Here’s our number
    So, call us, maybe…

    • http://www.rollcall.com/reporters/71.html Jason Dick

      Hello! Your entry was the winning caption for the first cartoon. Unfortunately, you’ve made your comment anonymously, so we don’t have a way of contacting you so we can send you your print. Would you send us an email address so we may follow up and send you your prize? Thanks! The CQRC editors.

  • art@hackney2.com

    And the lights all went out in Massachusetts
    The day Mitt left us standing all alone..

  • richaz@charter.net

    When Barack loves your money
    Can’t keep his mind on nothing else
    He’ll trade with China
    For the good thing he’s found
    If it’s bad he can’t see it
    It can do no wrong
    Turn his back on his best friend
    If he put it down
    RICHIE

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