Roll Call: Latest News on Capitol Hill, Congress, Politics and Elections
July 24, 2014

Posts in "FightingWords"

July 23, 2014

Jim Himes Rains on Conspiracy Theorist’s Parade

Rep. Jim Himes unleashed a flood of Twitter rage Wednesday morning after baiting a current events troll with news of his “secret” powers.

The social media implosion occurred shortly after a Twitter user self-identified as Danny Anson (@1Anson1) decided to dig into the Connecticut Democrat’s background and demanded to know about any underlying affiliations.

 

 

“None. But on Tuesdays they do let me control the weather,” Himes quipped when quizzed about his allegiance to surreptitious power brokers.

The taunt clearly fried Anson’s circuits, sparking some 40-odd replies (and counting) that bounce around a bevy of hot-button issues: destabilization of the Middle East, religious persecution, global intelligence gathering, morality, free trade. You name it. Full story

July 22, 2014

John Mica’s Makeover Plans Ain’t Gonna Happen

If Rep. John L. Mica had his way, a lot of people who currently inhabit some of the most cherry spots on the House side of the Capitol would be looking for new places to hang their hats come November.

“It’s something that we need to look at in the next Congress, … opening up more of these historic spaces,” the Florida Republican told HOH about his quest to carve out additional meeting rooms and reception areas for entertainment-minded lawmakers.

Per Mica, the current crop of reservation-required options is woefully limited to the Speaker’s Dining Room (H-122) and the Henry J. Hyde Room (H-139).

John Mica’s Makeover Plans Ain’t Gonna Happen

(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

By comparison, Mica noted that senators have access to the cavernous Lyndon Baines Johnson (S-211) and Mike Mansfield (S-207) rooms. “We don’t have those equivalents. And we should,” he argued. Full story

July 21, 2014

Chubbies’ Gadsden Flag Shorts Bare All for Freedom

Chubbies Gadsden Flag Shorts Bare All for Freedom

(Screenshot)

Just when you thought it was safe to wear shorts again, Chubbies — the uber-shortmaker of the fashion world — brings to you its Gadsden flag edition, a model of leg-baring boldness with its coiled snake and thigh-high “Don’t Tread on Me” motto.

“Don’t even think about treading on me. Ever,” the cheeky short-seller states in its description for prospective bro-tastic buyers, before adding, “If you do, these shorts will come at you like a coiled pit viper that just found out he can’t text his girlfriend because he lacks opposable thumbs.”

Within days, possibly hours, the “Sold Out” sign went up, undoubtedly as tea-party fashionistas got word and the weekend approached. CQ Roll Caller Scott Campbell, upon finding out of HOH’s interest in the libertine fashion statement, wanted to know, “Is HOH going to swagger-jack me?”

He was kidding, we think, because he went on to detail his long-time pining for the yellow item. “I’ve been wanting to buy those shorts for a long time. They’ve been sold out,” he said, noting, ” They’re comfortable shorts.”

Lucky for the Chubbies set, more are on the way, according to the company. “We’re working like crazy to make more of these bad boys. Find out when they’re back in-stock by signing up below,” the website states, inviting you to join its freedom-loving email list.

July 18, 2014

Mock Candidate Aims to Muck Up Kentucky Senate Race (Video)

Kentucky voters needn’t worry about hunting for Gil Fulbright’s name (at least that’s what it is this week) in voting booths come November. But they should get used to seeing his shit-eating grin over the next few months.

Mock Candidate Aims to Muck Up Kentucky Senate Race (Video)

(Screenshot)

Running the totally fake pol Fulbright (or Phillip MaMouf-Wifarts) is the latest stunt by anti-corruption advocates Represent.Us, the provocateurs behind last summer’s “stripping senator” show and the least appetizing power lunch in recorded history.

The advocacy group has, so far, raked in $30,000-plus to help crowbar Fulbright into the high-stakes standoff between Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell and Kentucky Secretary of State Alison Lundergan Grimes.

Full story

Pet Project Morphs Into Solon-Shaming ‘PolitiCat’

An anonymous online scold has begun a virtual game of cat and mouse with elected officials, awarding leaders willing to reach across party lines for the greater good with quirky honors while ripping those who just plain cross lines a new one.

Although a relative newcomer to the social mediasphere, “PolitiCat,” the nom de plume of the political science grad hoping to groom fellow would-be pundits, has set its sights on getting pols and voters to more carefully consider their actions.

“I aim to break into the consciousness of the general public, particularly younger people with regard to voter responsibility. I want to highlight the behavior of lawmakers and public figures, especially to ‘catch them being good’ vis a vis advancing bipartisanship,” PC asserted via email.

That outreach has, so far, not always resonated with intended allies (a la the Wichita, Kan., radio host who just didn’t “get” one muddled missive).

 

 

We, too, were a bit stumped by what seemed to be a nonsensical exchange with Rep. Patrick Murphy — until PC explained the open letter was actually a response to an earlier fundraising pitch from the Florida Democrat. Full story

July 16, 2014

Courtney Stodden’s PETA Push Gets Tongues Wagging

Love her or despise her, Capitol Hill denizens were utterly captivated by having a nearly naked Courtney Stodden preach the virtues of a vegetarian lifestyle to them while shoving fake wieners in everyone’s mouths.

Courtney Stodden’s PETA Push Gets Tongues Wagging

(Bill Clark/CQ Roll Call)

The platinum-tressed teen blew into town to draw eyeballs to the People for Ethical Treatment of Animals’ curbside veggie dog giveaway. The staff luncheon/exercise in political theater is meant to serve as a counterpunch to the meat lobby’s annual hot dog blowout.

According to PETA spokeswoman Moira Colley, the group rallied supporters to the cause by distributing around 600 not dogs — “They’re all soy protein and spices,” one cheerful volunteer said of the meatless analogues — to famished passersby. Full story

Senate Softball Rivalry Once Again in Full Swing

Party lines, schmarty lines.

The key thing that keeps Sens. Bob Casey, D-Pa., and Patrick J. Toomey, R-Pa., going while here in D.C. is the burning desire to topple the other in their annual softball showdown.

Team Scrantonicity has faced off against the Hit It Toomey squad each summer for the past three years with mixed results. Scrantonicity throttled its foes 20-10 last year, but Team Toomey has wracked up more “W”s than losses over time.

“Sadly team Toomey leads the all-time series 2-1. But I’m quite confident the series will be all even after tonight’s festivities,” a Casey aide assured HOH in a trash-talking email.

Those looking to get swept up in softball mania should make their way over to the National Mall (Seventh and Madison streets NW) around 6:45 p.m. to catch all the action.

Look for Casey to be snagging flies in the outfield (our tipster says the boss typically patrols right field), while Toomey tends to plant himself at third.

July 15, 2014

PETA to Plant Stripped Down Courtney Stodden Outside Rayburn on Wednesday

A scantily clad Courtney Stodden will feed alterna-weenies to Hill staffers Wednesday, performing her civic duty on behalf of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals by serving as the celebrity eye candy for the group’s congressional veggie dog giveaway.

The model/singer/teen divorcee is expected to begin dispensing the meat-free munchies — wearing “nothing but strategically placed lettuce leaves,” per PETA’s media alert — alongside the Independence Avenue-facing entrance to Rayburn promptly at noon.

“Veggie dogs are delicious and kinder to animals, the environment, and our health than artery-clogging, meaty hot dogs are. The choice is easy to make!” Stodden asserted in a release.

PETA has for years paraded around pro-vegetarian ladies — including 2008 Playmate of the Year Jayde Nicole and pin-up queen Vida Guerra — in an attempt to lure the epicurious away from the American Meat Institute’s widely attended annual hot dog lunch (typically held inside Rayburn on the same day).

PETA to Plant Stripped Down Courtney Stodden Outside Rayburn on Wednesday

(CQ Roll Call File Photo)

After poking around her YouTube archive, it would appear that Stodden’s anti-carnivorous advocacy dates back to at least 2012.

Full story

July 11, 2014

Congressional Hits and Misses: Week of July 7 (Video)

As members discuss Jesus and car brakes, Rep. Mike Simpson says members need to know when to “shut up.”

July 10, 2014

Getting to the Meat of the Matter in Texas

Getting to the Meat of the Matter in Texas

(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

From the looks of things on social media, folks in the Lone Star State can’t quite figure out exactly what they should be stuffing their faces with.

Corpus Christi, Texas country station K-99 kicked off the caloric controversy earlier this week by endorsing a short, but still oddly redundant, rewriting of the food pyramid.

The extra beefy prescription seemed to be one only Dr. Atkins could love. Not to mention that the proposed categories somehow managed to be both over-broad and bizarrely exclusionary. Full story

July 9, 2014

Earl Blumenauer Takes the High Road in Response to Courtland Milloy Bike Column

Earl Blumenauer Takes the High Road in Response to Courtland Milloy Bike Column

Blumenauer in his Longworth office. (Tom Williams/CQ Roll Call File Photo.)

If you are a cyclist or a reader of the Washington Post Metro section, you might have read Post columnist Courtland Milloy’s latest, wherein he accuses those who ride bikes of being bullies and terrorists and implies that motorists would be justified in running cyclists down in the road.

“On Wednesday, the Washington Area Bicyclist Association’s Bike Ambassadors will ride to the NoMa Summer Screen viewing of ‘The Muppets’ ‘to hand out surprise goodies to people who biked.’ There’ll be kids and bikes and Muppets, as if Kermit is supposed to make us forget about the biker terrorists out to rule the road,” Milloy writes.

Sigh. WABA and others have responded with point-by-point rebuttals of Milloy’s nonsense and HOH’s first inclination was to answer with what we do best, which is pithiness and scorn. But firstly, we wanted to give Congress’ pre-eminent cyclist, Rep. Earl Blumenauer, D-Ore., a chance to respond. The man from Portland chose to, ahem, take the high road.

“Mr. Milloy should get out more. I’m happy to take him on a bike ride.”

Classy.

Politics & Prose Gives Amazon the Business

The District’s highest profile independent bookstore is getting political once more, weighing in on the ongoing tug-of-war between online retailer Amazon and authors with some cheeky in-store signage.

“Hachette Titles: Usually ships in  … Oh, wait, just pick it up right now!” Team P&P touts in front of a display featuring the latest imprint to tangle with the one-click-and-a-drone-will-deliver-it-right-to-your-doorstep giant for control of the e-publishing revenue stream.

A secondary placard posted within the landing spot (5015 Connecticut Ave. NW) for rising/sitting/retired politicos with great stories to tell paraphrases from the commentary that prolific author and voracious reader James Patterson posted on his personal website earlier this spring about the troubling literary row. Full story

July 3, 2014

Activists Petition Congress to Stick it to SCOTUS

Pray at the Pump Movement founder Rocky Twyman wants Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., and House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., to step up and help him clean house across the street at the Supreme Court.

Activists Petition Congress to Stick it to SCOTUS

(Courtesy Rocky Twyman)

“Since the 2000 election that resulted in George Bush being selected as President of the United States, the Supreme Court has become highly politicized,” Twyman argues in his Change.org petition.

He cites polarizing positions such as the game changing Citizens United and McCutcheon cases, as well as controversial revisions to the Voting Rights Act, as evidence the judicial system has gone totally awry. “Because of these highly partisan decisions that enable individuals and corporations to virtually buy elections, we the people want to amend the Constitution of the United States and eliminate the unlimited terms of Justices to only eight years,” Twyman states.

Per Twyman’s plan, all future SCOTUS panelists would be term-limited to just under a decade at the highest court in the land, while any sitting justices who’ve presided longer than that would be urged to step down immediately. Full story

July 2, 2014

Is it Live, or Is it Frank Lucas? Vote Study Suggests No Change

According to House hopeful Timothy Ray Murray, Rep. Frank D. Lucas is not who he says he is but a robot double, or some such thing. A look back at the Oklahoma Republican’s voting record begs to differ.

Is it Live, or Is it Frank Lucas? Vote Study Suggests No Change

(Courtesy HOH tipster)

A CQ Roll Call researcher examined the legislative positions staked out by Lucas since 1994, a decade during which his allegiance to the party line rarely dropped below 90 percent and his support for the commander in chief has fluctuated wildly based on who called the shots in the Oval Office.

Per the study, Lucas’ voting behavior since 2011 — the year in which Murray asserts Lucas, along with other unspecified members of the Sooner State delegation, was executed “by The World Court” in Southern Ukraine for unknown crimes — remains consistent with how the 11-term Oklahoman has routinely carried out his duties.

If anything, Lucas has displayed even more conservative tendencies, trimming his historically tepid support for President Barack Obama (all-time high: roughly 25 percent) from the upper teens to just barely above double-digits.

Hardliner or not, Murray insists he’s the only “man” left in this race.

“This is a situation similar to the Senators’ from Kentucky situation in the 2012 election,” Murray warns on his website (http://www.timothyraymurray.com/), somehow tying in Sen. Rand Paul, R-Ky., to the vast conspiracy of political replicants.

Murray did not respond to queries regarding when he planned to file a formal challenge to the June 24 primary Lucas handily won, claiming 83 percent of the vote to Murray’s 5 percent, nor did he name the other legislative doppelgangers he suspects have infiltrated the current congress.

Team Lucas, meanwhile, declined to comment on whether the disclosure would accelerate the plans of any robot/insect/alien overlords waiting in the wings.

July 1, 2014

In Washington, No One Can Hear You Sing ‘Oh, Canada’

Happy Canada Day! Or is it?

Ostensibly, July 1 is Canada Day, but you wouldn’t know that from the Canadian Embassy in Washington, nor the two members of Congress who were born in Canada: Rep. Sean Patrick Maloney, D-N.Y., and Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas.

Though the Embassy hosted visitors this morning, the latest feature on its website is a story from Monday about Ed Fast, Canada’s minister of international trade, protesting increased U.S. border inspection fees. The embassy’s most recent Washington-specific news post was “Celebrating Friendly Hockey Rivalries in Washington.”

 

Maloney, born in Sherbrooke, Quebec, visited Continental Organics, a New Windsor, N.Y., business in his district ”that focuses on hiring our wounded warriors. This innovative business produces fresh, locally grown food using a combination of aquaponic, hydroponic, and conventional organic field farming practices,” according to his tweets and Facebook page.

As for Cruz, the Calgary, Alberta-born tea party hero was busy ignoring our colleagues’ request for comment about his dual citizenship in the Senate Conservatives Fund and the National Republican Senatorial Committee.

If a country celebrated a day celebrating itself but no one knew, did it really happen?

By Jason Dick Posted at 3:37 p.m.
DC, FightingWords

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