Roll Call: Latest News on Capitol Hill, Congress, Politics and Elections
September 2, 2015

Posts in "FightingWords"

June 18, 2015

Texas Pols Go to Bat for Astros (Updated)

Updated 3:31 p.m. | A bipartisan group of House lawmakers from the Lone Star State put Missouri pols on notice Thursday: acts of aggression against the Houston Astros will not be tolerated.

Rep. Pete Olson, R-Texas, authored a stern warning — signed by three-quarters of the Texas delegation — to colleagues from the Show-Me State expressing deep dissatisfaction with the state of affairs between the dueling ball clubs.

(Courtesy Pete Olson)

(Courtesy Pete Olson)

 

“A state of war exists between the Astros and the Cardinal Empire,” Olson et al. ribbed their counterparts in response to reports that members of the St. Louis Cardinals’ organization may have hacked into Houston Astros’ computer systems. “There is no blinking at the fact that our team, our fans, and the sanctity of the game of baseball are in grave danger.”

Per staff, Olson hand-delivered the mischievous missive to every member from Missouri he was able to run down. Full story

June 17, 2015

Jeb Bush: 21st Century Digital Boy

Republican presidential hopeful Jeb Bush has finally committed to the 2016 race.

Which means he could have up to a year and half of standing around in front of random audiences and flapping his lips to do.

On Tuesday, Bush embraced the self-deprecating side of campaigning during a swing by “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon,” joining in on a sexually suggestive segment of “Slow Jamming the News.”

Full story

June 16, 2015

Jesus Lady Ready to Do Some Arm Twisting of Her Own

Capitol Hill fixture Rita Warren has had it with being blown off by Speaker John A. Boehner regarding her plan to help save lawmakers from total ruin.

(CQ Roll Call File Photo)

(CQ Roll Call File Photo)

“Speaker Boehner doesn’t answer me. He doesn’t want to speak to me about Jesus of Nazareth,” the octogenarian activist told HOH about the cold shoulder she’s been getting from the Ohio Republican.

The source of friction appears to be the repeated requests Warren has lodged to bring in actor Robert Powell and have him address both chambers of Congress — a lobbying effort she expects to renew Thursday during her weekly trek to the Hill. Full story

June 15, 2015

Congressional Hits and Misses: Week of June 8, 2015 (Video)

A busy week on Capitol Hill quickly turned into a debate over Braille Playboys, Asian geography and tasteless cheese.
Full story

June 12, 2015

Obama’s Beer Was Cold, Yet Not Influential

Obama made a surprise appearance. (Bill Clark/CQ Roll Call)

Obama made a surprise appearance. (Bill Clark/CQ Roll Call)

Like any thoughtful guest dropping by unannounced, President Barack Obama brought some homebrews with him when he dropped by the 54th Annual Roll Call Congressional Baseball Game.

“I’m told he brought some special beverage just to your side,” Rep. Joe L. Barton, the GOP squad’s manager, said at the baseball players’ after party, addressing the victorious Democrats in Nationals Park’s Club Level MVP lounge. “You got to vote for TPA now,” the Texas Republican added. Full story

June 5, 2015

Congressional Hits and Misses: Week of June 1, 2015 (Video)

Lawmakers returned from a Memorial Day recess ready to impart their knowledge on extension cords, fly fishing and arithmetic.

Full story

May 27, 2015

We Are Watchmen Raps Things Up for Ted Cruz

Christian musicians We Are Watchmen want the world to know we’re all doomed — unless Sen. Ted Cruz is handed the keys to the White House ASAFP.

The right-wing rhyme spitters paint the Texas Republican as a potential savior in their latest track, “Set It On Fire.”

The lyrics, performed over electronic handclaps and adult contemporary keyboard playing, exalt conservative values and Reagan worship. Full story

May 22, 2015

Congressional Hits and Misses: Week of May 18, 2015 (Video)

Members prepared for the holiday weekend by asking rhetorical questions, spit-shining their boots and potty-training the Capitol Police.

Full story

May 21, 2015

Freshmen Join Congressional Women’s Softball Game

Gabbard was among the star recruits after she arrived in Congress. There are 3 rookies joining the members team this year. (Tom Williams/CQ Roll Call File Photo)

Gabbard was among the star recruits after she arrived in Congress. There are three rookies joining the members’ team this year. (Tom Williams/CQ Roll Call File Photo)

The lawmakers who play in the Congressional Women’s Softball Game have three new recruits to brag about this year, ahead of next month’s charity game against the press.

The roster being released Thursday includes freshman rookies from the House: Elise Stefanik, R-N.Y., Kathleen Rice, D-N.Y., and Mia Love, R-Utah.

Full story

May 20, 2015

Congressional Hits and Misses: Week of May 11, 2015 (Video)

Lawmakers spent the week locating Ruby Ridge on a map, snapping selfies with pigs and preparing for bazooka-armed lesser prairie chickens.

Full story

May 19, 2015

Existentialists Watch, Wonder in Digital Cloakroom

(CQ Roll Call File Photo)

The Senate’s real-life waiting rooms have gone digital with the Cloakroom service. (CQ Roll Call File Photo)

Capitol Hill can be a confusing place, even for insiders.

Just ask the growing army of perplexed public servants trying to figure out what it’s all about on the nascent sounding board/app Cloakroom.

According to Co-Founder Ted Henderson, the anonymous service has, over the past few months, garnered a respectable following among the glue that keeps the legislative branch together.

Sure, some disgruntled staffers use it to talk smack. Full story

May 18, 2015

Redditor ­­Can’t Quite Figure Out Republicans

(Screenshot)

(Screenshot)

Never mind attempting to navigate the intellectual mind field that is political ideology. One social media sleuth would just like someone (anyone) to shed a little light on a burning question about the GOP.

“Are Republicans people?” web user 80provinces Monday queried a D.C-related discussion board.

Clearly 80p missed the feel-good campaign Romney campaign alumnus Vinny Minchillo rolled out last fall in an attempt to counteract the public’s perception of right wingers.

The public relations ploy proved to be a godsend for web-savvy satirists, who gleefully subverted the source material (#ImARepublican) and replaced it with merciless taunts. Full story

Friends of the Earth Out to Bury Earl Blumenauer

Environmental activists are throwing Rep. Earl Blumenauer under the zero-emission, biodiesel-fueled bus for openly embracing broader trade-promotion authority.

Friends of the Earth is going after the Oregon Democrat both here and back home in Portlandia for endorsing a polarizing “fast-track” plan the eco-warriors perceive to be a bum deal.

(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

“That’s what you get if you’re going to side with corporate polluters,” Friends of the Earth Climate and Energy Program Director Benjamin Schreiber told HOH of the dozens of antagonistic flyers. Schreiber personally affixed the signs — which read, “MISSING: Climate Champion Earl Blumenauer” — to every available surface surrounding the Capitol South Metro station. Full story

May 11, 2015

Bureaucracy Thwarts Ambitious Muppet

Ernie Sanders, we barely knew thee.

The politically inclined puppet learned the hard way real people don’t appreciate when fantasy beings intrude on their livelihoods.

“We got a DMCA notice from Twitter notifying us that Sesame Street’s lawyers are none too pleased with Ernie’s campaign. Considering the current growing field of actual puppets running for party nominations, we never imagined that our campaign would be the first to end … oh well,” Team ES shared with HOH via email. “Some people just cant handle a little lighthearted fun before the upcoming 2016 slugfest.”

So long, straw felt man.

Related:

Sesame Street Star Has Kin in 2016 Presidential Race

The 114th: CQ Roll Call’s Guide to the New Congress

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May 8, 2015

Congressional Hits and Misses: Week of May 4, 2015 (Video)

Even with one chamber out, lawmakers “ruined” their reputations offering “friendly” amendments, paying tribute to euthanized rabbits and quoting Austin Powers on the Senate floor.

Full story

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