Roll Call: Latest News on Capitol Hill, Congress, Politics and Elections
April 25, 2014

Posts in "Foolishness"

March 25, 2014

Query Us Behavior: All Sexed Up Edition

Every time over the last month that we have fired up the computer to try and do a little (OK, very little) work, it’s been there, staring us right in the face.

Day in and day out we’ve been haunted by those two little words that have apparently become synonymous with the Heard on the Hill brand: Zimbabwean porn.

That’s right.

All you preverts out there on the other side of the interwebz CANNOT stop searching for any mention of the lascivious activities that got ex-Rep. Mel Reynolds, D-Ill.,  booted from south central Africa.

Every day since then, whenever we log in to our trusty back-end site, the online search gods remind — nay, mock! — us that you, our beloved readers, most likely made your way to this treasure trove of triviality with lust in your hearts. We’re no prudes, but this thing has graduated from basic “Where Are They Now?” curiosity to  full-on creepy obsession.

Even if we purged the key driver — Zimbabwean porn — from the equation, there’s still plenty of other threads folks cling to whilst making their way here, including:

  • rep porn (top six over the last 90 days)
  • porn rep (top seven)
  • zimbabwen porn (tough to spellcheck when distracted, huh?)
  • zimbabwe porn (real timesaver, shaving of those two bulky last letters)
  • zimbabweanporn (that you, E. E. Cummings?)
  • mika brzezinski hot (we’ll pass along your warm regards)
Query Us Behavior: All Sexed Up Edition

MSNBC talk-show host Mika Brzezinski (Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

March 24, 2014

GWAR Loses Frontman, World Loses Bloodthirsty Political Equalizer

Entertainer Dave Brockie, the human counterpart to intergalactic swordsman Oderus Urungus, died Sunday, leaving behind a massive void for metal-heads used to having the GWAR singer settle political scores for them.

As first reported by Style Weekly, Brockie, 50, was found dead at his home in Richmond, Va., on Sunday afternoon.

The inexhaustible showman carved out an amazing career for himself as the co-founder and face of GWAR, a heavy metal band as well known for its grotesque costumes and fake blood-soaked skits as it is for its ear-splitting performances.

Whether clad in his horned mask and generously proportioned body suit or not, Brockie was never one to hold his tongue. A few years back, he chewed out the U.S. State Department for presumably dragging its feet in fighting for the return of Lamb of God singer David Randall “Randy” Blythe from imprisonment in the Czech Republic, and waded into New Mexican primary challenges by endorsing then-House hopeful Sean Closson.

Brockie, however, did his best work on stage — mercilessly disposing of political foes, both domestic:

 

President Barack Obama

 

Full story

March 20, 2014

John Lewis Breaks it Down

Pharrell’s hit song “Happy” has remained at the top of the charts for a month now, and Rep. John Lewis, D-Ga., recently showed why the tune is such a hit.

Rachelle O’Neil, a staff assistant in Lewis’ office, posted two Facebook videos Wednesday of the congressman cutting the rug. O’Neil said the dance was part of a “long-awaited” birthday celebration.  (Lewis’ birthday was Feb. 21.)

“Be happy everybody, happy,” said Lewis.  “That’s what the government is supposed to do.”

Keep dancing, congressman.

 

March 14, 2014

Congressional Hits and Misses: Week of March 10 (Video)

While members explain how to drive to Hawaii, put lipstick on a pig and which state has better ski resorts, Majority Leader Harry Reid still is not finished telling us about the Koch brothers.

March 13, 2014

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Charity Work Crushes the Competition — With His Tank

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Charity Work Crushes the Competition — With His Tank

(CQ Roll Call archives)

Forget breaking mere bread.

Former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger is upping the charity auction stakes by offering fans the opportunity to pump iron, co-pilot a tank and possibly chomp some stogies, all in the name of putting more money in the hands of After-School All-Stars.

Schwarzenegger has apparently owned the ground-pounding M47 Patton tank for 20-odd years now, but only trots it out on extra special occasions.

Keeping his youth-oriented athletic program going — the non-profit organization boasts chapters across the country, including an outpost in Washington, D.C. — clearly qualifies, as Schwarzenegger is contributing his time (“you’ll live like Arnold for a day!” the contest page trumpets) and the tank adventure for only $10 (single entry).

Whoever does win the all-inclusive trip out to LA should take comfort in knowing that their time will not be wasted: Ah-nuld has been on the vanguard of crushing stuff for decades. Full story

David Jolly Fits ‘Right’ In

Newly minted Rep. David Jolly is already making waves here on Capitol Hill, bucking House GOP leadership the first chance he got.

David Jolly Fits ‘Right’ In

(Bill Clark/CQ Roll Call)

During his mock swearing-in Thursday for photographers and the press, the special-election-winning Florida Republican raised the wrong appendage, attempting to look like he was taking the oath of office southpaw rather than with the obligatory right hand.

Welcome aboard, sir! (HOH LOVES rule breakers.)

March 11, 2014

Celebrities Running Out of Time to File for Congress

The clock is ticking for any celebrity considering a run for the open-seat race to represent Beverly Hills in Congress.

At 5 p.m. PDT on Wednesday, filing will close in the race to replace retiring Democratic Rep. Henry A. Waxman.

Waxman’s 33rd District covers Beverly Hills, Santa Monica, parts of West Hollywood and Malibu. Early on, we had high hopes that at least one fun celebrity would jump into the mix. But in the waning hours of the filing period, this scenario has not come to pass.

Despite our very best efforts to cajole/Twitter troll various celebrities, not one star opted for a run. Full story

Barack Obama’s Turn on ‘Between Two Ferns’

With the March 31 deadline looming to shepherd as many of the uninsured as possible underneath the umbrella of the Affordable Care Act, President Barack Obama has turned to Hollywood for a little help, appearing on Funny or Die’s parody talker, “Between Two Ferns.”

During the deliberately screwy program, host Zach Galifianakis typically walks guests through a minefield of insane questions and uncomfortable pauses.

POTUS fared better than most, firing back at Galifianakis with scripted comebacks skewering the comedian’s film career and personal hygiene. Joke writers apparently had plenty of time to prepare; The New York Times reported that Team BTF approached the White House about arranging the surreal sit-down last summer.

The preparation was wasted on Republicans, who were, understandably, not terribly amused.

Rep. Randy Weber of Texas couldn’t help but challenge the president’s priorities. (Benghazi’s still at the top of his list.)

 

 

Full story

March 7, 2014

Democrats Roast Ann Richards’ Granddaughter, Set Political Bar High

Democratic operatives all over town had a ball Friday afternoon ribbing their colleague, Democratic National Committee spokeswoman Lily Adams, after the 27-year-old was declared the future of the Texas Democratic Party on cable news.

It all started Friday morning, when MSNBC’s “The Daily Rundown” featured a segment on political up-and-comers in the Lone Star State.

Dallas Morning News reporter Wayne Slater prognosticated that Adams will likely be a future occupant of the Texas governor’s mansion, her late grandmother Ann Richards’ former crib.

“This is the one that’s just going to cause waves today,” Slater foreshadowed. “She is extraordinary. She is bright.”

Full story

Congressional Hits and Misses: Week of March 3 (Video)

HOH serves up another dish of the best of what’s around with members detailing how cold Ukraine is, explaining what happens when the toilet leaks and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., seeing how many times he can say “Koch brothers” in a 10-minute speech.

March 6, 2014

A Top-Down View of #CPAC2014

Here’s what conservative conferees have on their minds scalps at CPAC:

Clean pates

A Top Down View of #CPAC2014

(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

 

Rainbow-striped mohawks

A Top Down View of #CPAC2014

(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

 

Impeccably arranged ‘dos

A Top Down View of #CPAC2014

(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

 

Colonial-era head coverings

A Top Down View of #CPAC2014

(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

Stetsons

A Top Down View of #CPAC2014

(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

 

Camouflage ball caps

A Top Down View of #CPAC2014

(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

 

Fedoras

A Top Down View of #CPAC2014

(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

 

Combat helmets

A Top Down View of #CPAC2014

(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

 

Russian-style furriness

A Top Down View of #CPAC2014

(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

Okay, that last one is a doorman here at the Gaylord. But still, awesome.

 

The Early Buzz on #CPAC2014

The Early Buzz on #CPAC2014

(Chris Maddaloni/CQ Roll Call File Photo)

The annual Conservative Political Action Conference is just getting started at National Harbor, but the rat-a-tat online chatter about the far-right fest has already reached a fevered pitch.

At least one randy traveler is raring to go

 

A few early arrivals may have already overstayed their welcome

 

Full story

February 28, 2014

Congressional Hits and Misses: Week of Feb. 24 (Video)

Seth Rogen talks pot, the speaker of the House pronounces his name and Rep. Doug Collins, R-Ga., explains sibling rivalry. After a week off, HOH is back with the best and worst from the nation’s Capitol.

Pols Pounce on Kitties of Congress Campaign

Political leaders have famously compared the infinitely frustrating chore of having to steer a majority of their members toward any given goal as being tantamount to herding cats.

Too bad they didn’t have kitten-flinging, relationship builder Benny Johnson in their corners.

 

 

BuzzFeed’s Viral Politics Editor has had lawmakers eating out of the palm of his hand all week thanks to his “Kitties of Congress” campaign, a playful base-broadening ploy he launched on Feb. 21.

While he originally toyed with the idea last March, Johnson told HOH he recently decided to fully embrace the cat-to-congress crossover — and, more importantly, resolved to make lawmakers do the same.

“This year, one of my personal goals is to get followed by every member of congress on Twitter. This kitty campaign partially serves that end, but also provides a fun social interaction component that is far too rare in politics,” Johnson said of his unconventional outreach.

His plan hinges on helping solons shoot past the worst stuff on the web (“corny partisan messaging tools that no one really enjoys or shares”) and embrace some purely-for-the-hell-of-it silliness.

 

 

“Kitties of Congress is about getting members to join in a fun internet meme simply because it is enjoyable, like normal people do,” he suggested. “I’m thrilled that it has been successful and I will continue to make kitties for every member who follows me.“

By his count, over 100 lawmakers have followed him down this particular rabbit hole to date. We tallied roughly six dozen congressional followers — with Republicans outpacing Democrats, roughly two-to-one in terms of reaching out — who had opted in for the feline matchmaking.

Using Johnson’s math, this social media stunt has already dwarfed several coalition-building efforts happening on Capitol Hill right now, wooing five times the number of those willing to rally around the House GOP’s tenuous immigration plan and scores more than those who have formally lined up behind head taxwriter Dave Camp’s pitch to rewrite the Internal Revenue Code.

The response has been rather overwhelming. Full story

February 27, 2014

That’s Mr. Boner to You (Video)

One day after Speaker John A. Boehner was complimented on his tan, the Ohio Republican again found himself joshing with reporters Thursday.

After a reporter incorrectly addressed him as “Mr. Camp,” referring to House Ways and Means Committee Chairman Dave Camp and his tax code rewrite, Boehner responded with a candid, “It’s Boner.”

Watch the full exchange below.

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