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May 29, 2015

Posts in "Interns"

April 15, 2015

Tex-Mex Free-for-All Set for April 21

Never mind the tired axiom about Sen. Charles E. Schumer, D-N.Y., and unattended TV cameras. History has clearly shown the most dangerous proposition on Capitol Hill is impeding the path of fast-food crazed congressional staffers.


The ravenous masses on April 21 will once again have the opportunity to ravage unsuspecting minimum-wage workers during the annual Taco Bell Franchisee Congressional Reception.

The carnage should commence promptly at 5 p.m., with the full-contact gorging expected to subside by 6:30 p.m. — or whenever the shell-shocked tortilla flingers flee the Rayburn Cafeteria.

The 114th: CQ Roll Call’s Guide to the New Congress

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March 11, 2015

Staffers Can Let It All Hang Out in Pseudonymous Cloakroom

Recovering Hill staffer Ted Henderson wants to liberate congressional aides from the specter of having their deepest, darkest work gripes traced back to them via pre-existing communication platforms.

His solution: the identity-eschewing Cloakroom.

Staffers Can Let It All Hang Out in Pseudonymous Cloakroom

(Screenshot)

Ex-Rep. Dale E. Kildee’s former aide, who mined his inside-baseball experience to create the online advocacy tool Capitol Bells, told HOH he carved out the haven for free expression to enable no-holds-barred dialogue among rank-and-file feds.

“The listservs are all based on your staffer email address, so everything you say is attributed to both you and your boss,” Henderson said of internal channels used for everything from talking up potential new hires to extorting favors. Full story

January 5, 2015

Climbing the Ladder in the 114th Congress

It’s the beginning of a new cycle on Capitol Hill. Which means it is high time to ditch that dead-end grind you’ve been merely tolerating, our most career-oriented of readers, and dive into whatever flavor of professional development tickles your fancy.

Now that the Grand Old Party stands poised to run the show on both sides of the Capitol, it only makes sense for aspiring Hill Climbers to hitch their wagons to rising stars — and there are plenty of avenues to explore these days.

Crack Skulls

Climbing the Ladder in the 114th Congress

(Chris Maddaloni/CQ Roll Call File Photo)

The House Homeland Security Committee panel is hunting for a well-seasoned senior counsel. And somebody’s got to pay — jury’s still out on whether that ought to be self-proclaimed Guardians of Peace or Seth Rogen and James Franco — for all that “The Interview” nonsense. Full story

November 13, 2014

Hill Staffers Soldier Through Bison Day Reception

Congress had been gone for weeks before trickling back into town Wednesday for the latest lame-duck session. A few hundred congressional aides celebrated the triumphant return of the resurgent Republican Party by getting their fill (and then some) of food, drink and plush collectibles at the National Bison Day reception.

Hill Staffers Soldier Through Bison Day Reception

Attendees mingling in Dirksen during the National Bison Day reception. (Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

The annual soiree, which took place in Dirksen, attracted scores of staffers and interns but few lawmakers. Projected guest speaker Sen. John Hoeven, R-N.D., turned out to be a no-show, but event organizers noted that Rep. José E. Serrano, D-N.Y., managed to swing by for a bit.

By the time this roving reporter penetrated the herd, the promised bison sliders and gourmet meatballs had been devoured. The food basically gone (save for a lone bowl of broken, pathetic-looking potato chips), partygoers turned their attention to sucking dry every last bottle of Budweiser and Bud Light bartenders could fish from icy bins.

Hill Staffers Soldier Through Bison Day Reception

(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

“It’s way too wobbly. It would probably only take one person to knock it over,” a visibly buzzed guest estimated while eyeballing the evening’s oversized star attraction. Full story

August 26, 2014

Steve Stockman Not Going Gently Into That Good Night

Short-timer Steve Stockman doesn’t see the roughly 12 legislative days standing between him and unemployment as a time to mourn. He’d rather bring in new blood to help shake up the establishment for a few more weeks.

Steve Stockman Not Going Gently Into That Good Night

(CQ Roll Call File Photo)

The Texas Republican, who took himself out of commission earlier this spring by unsuccessfully challenging Senate Minority Whip John Cornyn for his seat, is on the hunt for a new intern to keep him company until the end.

Sounds like a sweet gig for anyone looking to learn the congressional ropes, but perhaps not planning to put down roots in D.C.:

Texas Representative- 08/25/2014

The House’s most unique and courageous conservative seeks smart, happy interns (of all ages and backgrounds) for the reminder of the year. Alas, we cannot pay you. Schedules and start/end dates are negotiable if you’re worth it. We do not insist on specific, arbitrary submissions: send us whatever personal materials you think will give us reason to hire you, even if that’s just a standard boring resume and canned cover letter. Writing samples are encouraged, but not required, because even a short cover letter belies and betrays a lousy writer. Brevity is the soul of wit. This Member is not a jerk, and neither loathes nor avoids interns, but loves them, and actually speaks to them. If you are selected for this internship you will have extraordinary access to the Member and to meaningful projects that go well beyond the standard intern grunt work (or your money back). Personality and ideology are important. Please bring a confident, vigorous intellect and no drama. Ideal candidates will be true patriots who can count up to 17 in trillions, and care more about future generations than they do about sucking up to current leadership. Mushy pleasers/appeasers keep walkin’. HINT: vapid granolas who fear guns, hate babies, are ashamed of America, and think Islamic terrorists and illegal aliens are just misunderstood will not be comfortable here. Reply to: kim.tape@mail.house.gov.

Assuming that’s not a typo in the first sentence (if so, Team Stockman may want to see about locking down a temporary copy editor, too), the incoming party will need to serve as a living testament to the travails of the past year.

Which sounds to us like “Guilty Remnant” members will have a leg up in the personality and ideology departments.

Won’t be long now.

July 16, 2014

Randy Weber Is Always Recruiting for Hot Pepper Parties

“We’ve got some fresh peppers in here. They’re not hot,” Rep. Randy Weber, R-Texas, mischievously goads his congressional aides after pouring out the baggie full of mixed chilies he religiously totes around in his coat pocket.

Sam Lombardo, a much-too-trusting summer intern, takes the bait, hurling a pea-sized ornamental pepper down the hatch.

Randy Weber Is Always Recruiting for Hot Pepper Parties

(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

The impetuous youth makes it through the first few bites unscathed, but is soon fanning his wide-open mouth for relief while Weber — who is always looking to welcome new chili-heads into the fold — chuckles with delight. Full story

June 24, 2014

White House Intern Faints at Press Briefing (Video)

A White House intern fainted at the end of a press briefing Tuesday, one day after Press Secretary Josh Earnest took over the position Jay Carney held for three years.

According to the White House pool report, it was the intern’s first day on the job.

February 7, 2014

Meditation Museum Wants to Help the Politically Connected Unwind

Keeping the trains running on Capitol Hill is, by all accounts, a high-stress gig.

Which is why the Meditation Museum thinks it’s so important congressional operatives learn to cope with the pressure rather than allowing work to derail their mental well-being.

The spiritual center (8236 Georgia Ave., Silver Spring, Md.) is hosting a free workshop on Feb. 18 from 6:30 p.m. to 8 p.m., geared specifically to those who work in government.  The “Don’t Get Mad, Get Wise” program delves into anger management techniques, involves group problem-solving exercises and comes to a close with some light meditation.

“We do it almost every other month because people like it,” a Meditation Museum aide said of the semi-regular self-improvement lessons. The group routinely cycles through a series of core issues, including bolstering self-esteem, learning tolerance, fostering cooperation and heightening decision-making skills.

The workshops are, by design, strictly nonpartisan and do not require prior training in meditation. “We focus on mindful breathing … and have some guided meditation commentary,” the aide said of the low-key program.

Does the thought of commuting to the Maryland ‘burbs make your blood boil?

Meditation Museum Wants to Help the Politically Connected Unwind

(Screenshot)

 

The Meditation Museum has developed a free smartphone app (“Pause for Peace”) designed to help users carve out a little me-time from hectic schedules.

By Warren Rojas Posted at 11:27 a.m.
Drama, Interns, Reps, Sens, Staffers

November 13, 2013

Hill Staffers Capitalize on Few Remaining Dome Tours

A planned overhaul of the time-worn Capitol Dome has sent Hill staffers into a frenzy for constituent-appeasing tours, a mad dash for the closely guarded reservations that’s spawned a black market of promised food, drink and even forced labor.

Hill Staffers Capitalize on Few Remaining Dome Tours

The Capitol Dome is set to undergo a long-overdue renovation, and tours will be curtailed after it starts. (Douglas Graham/CQ Roll Call File Photo)

The announcement of the two-year restoration project touched off a behind-the-scenes bidding war among those in congressional offices charged with securing the walk-throughs for folks back home. Architect of the Capitol aide Justin Kieffer confirmed that the last of those tours are scheduled to take place Dec. 15.

An HOH tipster provided us with a glimpse into the panicky exchanges bouncing back and forth on an internal administrative message board. Full story

September 3, 2013

Query Us Behavior: Business as (Un)usual Edition

With sweet, sweet recess effectively over thanks to all the “do we/don’t we blow Syria to smithereens” tug-of-war gripping the Capitol, it’s time again to get a feel for what’s on the minds of those who seek solace in the loving arms of HOH.

As with previous plunges into the murky depths of Web search phraseology, we’ve taken a look back at the cryptic questions and half-baked theories that led inquiring minds into our neck of the virtual woods over the past week:

Query Us Behavior: Business as (Un)usual Edition

(Douglas Graham/CQ Roll Call)

August 2, 2013

The Blotto Files: Congressional Staffers’ Greatest Misses

The Blotto Files: Congressional Staffers’ Greatest Misses

(Tom Williams/CQ Roll Call)

As we were so beautifully reminded this week, sometimes Hill staffers hit the sauce a little too hard.

Mind you, bending the elbow is pretty much part of the job these days, with lawmakers and their lackeys obliged to flock from a cocktail hour for this to a policy reception for that just about every night they are actually here in town (lobbyists are hard-cases like that).

And while no one should begrudge overworked colleagues the opportunity to live a little, we’d just like to point out that many of these sad sacks effectively committed career suicide (ranked from most to least damaging outcome) all for a few drinks.

  • Rep. Rick Larsen’s doomed “December to Remember” crew: A trio of myopic social-media addicts decided to not only get wrecked while working for the Washington Democrat but also to advertise said debauchery via Twitter.
  • Rep. Steven M. Palazzo’s party girl: HOH rock star Whitney Donald swore there was nothing too crazy going on at the Annapolis, Md., home she secretly rented in the Mississippi Republican’s name for a weekend rager. The neighbors begged to differ.
  • Rep. Paul D. Ryan’s bleary-eyed super fan: Young love can be disorienting enough. Add in a serious bender, misplaced footwear and an office-wide declaration of your burning desire to bask in the glow of the Wisconsin Republican’s presence and you’ve got a teachable moment that clearly deserves its own chapter in the Cap Hill orientation manual.
  • Rep. Suzanne Kosmas’ mouth-bashing mouthpiece: Marc Goldberg, spokesman for the Florida Democrat, decided to let his fists do the talking during a dispute at a Dupont Circle watering hole. Guess when you gotta go, you gotta go …

July 31, 2013

Blotto Intern Falls Hard for Paul Ryan

Blotto Intern Falls Hard for Paul Ryan

(Tom Williams/CQ Roll Call)

A well-in-his-cups intern sparked a pseudo manhunt on Capitol Hill today, as staff from the office of a House Republican tried to contain a stumbling, bumbling aide apparently dead set on getting some face time with his dream guy, ex-GOP vice presidential pick and current House Budget Chairman Paul D. Ryan.

Per an email circulated internally by an intern wrangler for the House Republican, the drama began when the wasted youth moseyed into work a few hours late, still stinking of the night before.

Things only got hairier once the underage boozehound began proclaiming his love for the Wisconsin Republican and then raced off to try to catch a glimpse of the P90X devotee at work. Full story

July 17, 2013

The Fiercely Opinionated Byron Thomas

 

The Fiercely Opinionated Byron Thomas

(Screenshot)

Newly minted congressional intern Byron Thomas skyrocketed from no name to HOH Hall of Fame Wednesday, after his email plea seeking fellow patriots to say the “Pledge of Allegiance” with each morning went viral.

“We have American flags in front of every room, but I’ve never seen anyone take the time to proudly say the Pledge of Allegiance. Are we that busy that we can’t take a minute to show some pride and respect for our country?” the aide to Sen. Tim Scott, R-S.C., chided staff on an internal message board.

It’s likely this whole pledge-shirking business has been gnawing away at him since at least late April. Full story

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