Rep. Steve Stockman is never one to disappoint when it comes to questionable tweets. Here’s the Texas Republican’s latest attempt to put the Senate debate on Obamacare defunding and Sen. Ted Cruz’s extended speechifying in perspective.
If ObamaCare were an infant Democrats would support a filibuster to kill it.
“One of my favorite things I like to do in Nevada and here in Washington is to go grocery shopping. It is such a diversion for me. I love going grocery shopping to look around, buy things. Landra and I are without our children and our grandchildren — we live alone — but we still buy food and I enjoy that so very much.”
— Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid on the floor Sept. 19
Erica Elliott, spokeswoman extraordinaire for House Majority Whip Kevin McCarthy, R-Calif., had the unenviable task of calming frayed nerves Wednesday, after the House community had been informed that plans for the foreseeable future had been officially flushed down the toilet.
Because Congress can’t figure out how to pass appropriations bills before the end of the fiscal year, the word went out around 3:45 p.m. that the House would be in session longer than anticipated.
“Members are advised that on Wednesday, September 25, the House will reconvene at 2:00 p.m. for legislative business with votes postponed until 6:30 p.m. Members further are advised that the House will remain in session through the week, and possibly the weekend, until the completion of the CR. This is a change from the previously announced schedule,” the notice read.
Apparently, all hell broke loose, not that anyone enjoys finding out their schedule’s been thrown into a chaos of their own making. But the wording was a bit confusing, prompting some people to not be very pleased at all. Elliott sent out a missive a little while later, chiding everyone and, for good measure, she included a YouTube link to a scene at the end of “Animal House” that depicted mass hysteria, as well as a young Kevin Bacon yelling, “All is well,” before being flattened by the frightened hordes.
“To clarify all of the confusion and panic: The House was supposed to be out next week. Instead of being out next week, we will be in starting Wednesday. We will consider the CR before we leave this week. C’mon y’all …” her missive read, followed by the YouTube link.
So remember, as we get closer to a government shutdown and a possible worldwide economic slowdown: All is well!
After all, look how it turned out for Kevin Bacon’s character!
“Actually, I might focus on political science. I didn’t focus on that or speech or debate” — representative-turned-Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin tells a National Press Club luncheon about the skill sets she’d pursue if enrolling in college today.
On this day 24 years ago, a spirited congressman from Illinois named Richard J. Durbin, now the No. 2 Democrat in the Senate, delivered what is unquestionably the greatest diatribe to ever grace the House floor — in defense of the wooden bat.
A young Durbin, still speaking with his strong Illinois accent, (as a Land of Lincoln lady myself, trust me on this; listen for how he says “pajamas” and “Americana”) was so riled up by the cheers of his colleagues as he hit the dramatic crescendo of his speech that he effectively dropped the mic when it was over.
Eat your heart out, Harry Reid, with your tired Davey Johnson metaphors.
“I don’t want to hear about saving trees, any tree in America would gladly give its life for a day of glory at home plate,” Durbin proclaimed. “I don’t know if it will take a constitutional amendment to keep the baseball traditions alive, but if we forsake the great Americana of broken-bat singles and pine tar, we certainly will have lost our way as a nation.”
May we mark this day every year to remember what America is really all about, and that even though it’s unclear who Durbin was addressing with this little ditty, aluminum bats have remained out of professional baseball for decades.
If we don’t take a moment to appreciate the glory that is the Durbin Wooden Bats™ speech now, in the heart of baseball season, then HOH has to ask, “Is nothing sacred?”
There was one senator conspicuously absent at the beginning of the Senate Judiciary Committee’s markup on Thursday morning: Charles E. Schumer. The committee was slated to mark up a media shield bill, sponsored by the New York Democrat and about 10 minutes into the meeting, the senator was nowhere to be found.
Since the committee was short of a quorum, members waited several minutes for a few more of their colleagues to show up.
A few minutes later, Schumer arrived, a quorum was reached and the committee promptly agreed to hold over work on the bill until next week. After announcing that the bill would be held over, Schumer said he had a “good dog ate my homework excuse” as to why he was late.
“The showers stopped working in the gym,” he said.
Judiciary Chairman Patrick J. Leahy responded, “When Sen. [Dianne] Feinstein was chair of the Rules Committee, that never happened.”
That garnered laughs from the rest of the committee, as Schumer is the current chairman of the Senate Committee on Rules and Administration and has jurisdiction of a lot of Senate operations.
The last thing that could be heard before Schumer’s voice was drowned out by the chatter of others in attendance was, “I had to have someone stand guard …”
The Nevada Democrat spoke Monday morning at the Center for American Progress and made little to no news about the Senate’s filibuster standoff, but he did take a 20-second timeout to flash his sports acumen by making fun of a poor, unassuming intern from USC, who told the majority leader that he was mulling “switching sides” after Reid’s Trojan insults. Full story
At a Senate Budget Committee hearing Tuesday, Ron Johnson, R-Wis., shared his three top keys to succeeding in life, two of which involve sex and drugs, or the lack thereof.
Johnson was filling in for Budget ranking member Jeff Sessions, R-Ala., at a hearing with Education Secretary Arne Duncan about the department’s budget when he imparted the wisdom he usually reserves for students to his colleagues and the nation’s top education official.
“There’s no doubt about it that we all know that education is real key. We share that same goal that we want to make sure our children are armed with the tools to lead a successful and productive life. When I meet with students, I frequently cite the three things that if you either do or avoid doing, you’ll have a pretty good chance at leading a successful life,” Johnson said at the top of his remarks. Full story
“I didn’t come to the Senate to sign on to a bunch of letters and give a speech once a week on the floor.” — Florida Republican Marco Rubio pauses, during a heated defense of the immigration overhaul, to explain that he didn’t battle his way into the World’s Greatest Deliberative Body just to sit idly by on the sidelines.
(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)
But while he is here, might as well unload a few custom water bottles, right?