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October 26, 2014

Posts in "ScandalFaced"

September 26, 2014

House Hopeful Dives Into Kevin Yoder’s Skinny Dipping Past

It may be old news in #ThisTown, but Kansas Democrat Kelly Kultala doesn’t want anyone back home to forget about Rep. Kevin Yoder’s embarrassing swing through Israel.

The second-term Kansas Republican made headlines a few years back after it was revealed that he, and a handful of other GOP lawmakers, had thrown caution (and, apparently, their clothing) to the wind just before taking an ill-advised plunge into the sacrosanct Sea of Galilee in August 2011. Team Kultala invested five-figures to dredge up the incident for this ad.

Yoder did the whole mea culpa thing. And he has, at least to the best of our knowledge, managed to keep covered up while here in Washington.

Related Stories:

If Kevin Yoder Had Heeded Peter Bis’ Advice

Take Five With Kevin Yoder

Roll Call Election Map: Race Ratings for Every Seat

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September 18, 2014

Sports Stars’ Stumbles Spark Fresh Round of ‘Slam the Solons’

As if engineering new ways to kinda-sorta green light foreign wars without getting booted out of office in a few weeks weren’t stressful enough, elected officials must once again — thanks to wildly inappropriate behavior by marquee athletes — contend with age-old accusations about everything that’s wrong with Capitol Hill.

The rapid succession of domestic scandals that have upended the careers of professional running backs Ray Rice (aggravated assault) of the Baltimore Ravens, and Adrian Peterson (indicted for child abuse) of the Minnesota Vikings appears to have stirred up anti-congressional sentiments, leading to the reappearance of a meme designed to highlight pols’ absolutely worst qualities.

 

Sports Stars’ Stumbles Spark Fresh Round of Slam the Solons

(Screenshot)

 

Per the urban myth slayers at Snopes, the original laundry list of political loserdom was most likely distilled from a five-part series called “Congress: America’s Criminal Class” which Capital Hill Blue unveiled in 1999.  Six years later, the muckraking website revisited the myriad personal and professional shortcomings documented in the original expose and found a governing body still rife with human imperfection.

Team Snopes had a lot of issues with the original barrage, citing content ranging from distressingly vague (“the original publisher has steadfastly declined to provide any documentation for these claims”) to borderline absurd (“they would have no way of knowing how many members of Congress had been stopped for traffic violations without being cited”).

None of that, however, Team Snopes suggests, has halted armchair critics from subbing in the target du jour (British Parliament, the NFL, etc.) to get their preferred point across.

 

Sports Stars’ Stumbles Spark Fresh Round of Slam the Solons

(CQ Roll Call Photo Illustration)

Making up horror stories about Congress seems like such an incredible waste of time.

Their real-life misdeeds are so much more engrossing:

The war at home

  • Rep. Mark Sanford, R-S.C.: Love’s labor’s lost.
  • Rep. Alan Grayson, D-Fla.: Perfect strangers
  • Rep. Scott DesJarlais, R-Tenn.: Do as I say, not as I do.

Sexcapades

  • Rep. Vance McAllister, R-La.: Your cheating heart
  • Ex-Rep. Mel Reynolds, D-Ill.: Does not compute.
  • Ex-Rep. Anthony Weiner, D-N.Y.: Danger is his middle name.

Self-destructive tendencies

  • Rep. Michael G. Grimm, R-N.Y.: Give me somethin’ to break.
  • Ex-Rep. Trey Radel, R-Fla.: You holding?
  • Ex-Rep. Jesse L. Jackson Jr., D-Ill.: Shopaholic

Questionable judgment

  • Rep. Steve Stockman, R-Texas: Rules are for suckers.
  • Rep. Paul Broun, R-Ga.: What, me worry?
  • Sen. John Walsh, D-Mont.: Don’t quote me on that.

Meanwhile, at least one incensed lawmaker is refusing to let the badly bruised NFL off the hook.

 

 

Guess that means the ball’s in your court, Web trolls.

Related:

Female Senators Write Letter to Goodell, Want NFL to Adopt ‘Zero-Tolerance’ Policy

Blumenthal Floats Changes to NFL Antitrust Exemption (Video)

Critics of Washington Team Name Target NFL Nonprofit Status (Video)

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September 17, 2014

Michele Bachmann and the Right to Bare Arms

Michele Bachmann and the Right to Bare Arms

(Douglas Graham/CQ Roll Call File Photo)

When Michele Bachmann came to the floor Wednesday afternoon to preside over the House chamber, there was one problem: She was wearing a dress — without sleeves.

After Speaker John A. Boehner opened the House, Bachmann was due to step in the chair. Unfortunately for the Minnesota Republican, the dress code governing the House chamber was written before the time when Michelle Obama was first lady. Bare shoulders are not allowed on the House floor.

According to a source who saw the hubbub, floor staffers huddled for a moment before approaching Bachmann and telling her she could not preside until she covered up.

“I was just told that I needed to have a jacket and it was no problem,” Bachmann told HOH on Wednesday afternoon. “I called the staff and said ‘grab one’ — I keep an extra one in my office — and they ran it over lickety-split.”

Bachmann said she agreed with the dress code, which is stricter for members when they are presiding over the House chamber than it is for when they’re on the floor. “And it isn’t different for women than it is for men, which I absolutely agree with,” she said.

While Bachmann waited roughly five minutes for her staff to bring over a jacket, Rep. Steve Daines, R-Mont., stepped in to pinch-hit as the presiding officer.

When her staff did arrive, they brought two options: a dark blazer and a white one. Bachmann, who was wearing a black dress, tried on both, opting for the black jacket in the end.

“I just thought this would look more professional,” she said.

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September 15, 2014

Tim Ryan Dresses Down Urban Outfitters Over Sweatshirt-gate

Bizarrely stained outer wear that Urban Outfitters rather unbelievably tied to Kent State University has made Rep. Tim Ryan’s blood boil.

Tim Ryan Dresses Down Urban Outfitters Over Sweatshirt gate

(Screenshot)

 

“On May 4, 1970, four students lost their lives at Kent State University and changed our country forever. It is deplorable for Urban Outfitters to exploit the pain and suffering of this national tragedy for their gain,” the Ohio Democrat said in a tersely worded official statement. “May 4th was a seminal and transformational moment in American history and we should never lose sight of its immense impact. Those who cannot remember the past, are condemned to repeat it.”

Ryan is referring, of course, to the horror scene that unfolded in Kent, Ohio, some 44 years ago, when the Ohio National Guard opened fire on Vietnam War protestors, killing four students and wounding nine others.

Full story

September 3, 2014

Separated at Birth: Mike Bishop Edition

House hopeful Mike Bishop appears to have one of those faces.

Per a colleague, the man who our own political handicappers see as a solid contender in the race to replace retiring Rep. Mike Rogers, R-Mich., apparently reminds some folks of a certain teenage heartthrob.

“He says he gets the Greg Brady thing all the time,” our fellow hack said of Bishop’s familiarity with comparisons drawn between him and 70’s icon Barry Williams.

Though not quite identical twins, the two could probably pass as brothers.

While his strikingly silver mane clashes with the others’ darkened locks, our pal proposed adding another potential “lost” sibling to the pack: ex-Sen. John Ensign.

Separated at Birth: Mike Bishop Edition

(CQ Roll Call File Photo)

We see the similarities in the eyebrows and chins.

Still, the libidinous Nevada Republican would have to freebase “Just for Men,” while the others got to work on developing unimpeachable perma-tans, before we could fully buy into this family reunion.

July 23, 2014

John Walsh, Your Canned Response Is Ready

John Walsh, Your Canned Response Is Ready

(Tom Williams/CQ Roll Call)

After intently studying the last project Sen. John Walsh turned in to the United States War College, New York Times reporter Jonathan Martin has uncovered what appears to be a heavily plagiarized final product.

This startling revelation, compounded by Team Walsh’s head-scratching misrepresentation of the Montana Democrat’s academic credentials earlier this year, means Walsh suddenly has a lot more ‘splaining to do.

His best bet? Committing the following to memory:

Confidence is high George Costanza won’t mind you cribbing from the best.

July 11, 2014

Congress-edits Is Just the Latest to Keep Tabs on Pols’ Cyber Stumbles

Another day, another resource to expose the often clueless political operatives who foolishly tool around the Internet believing their subversive activities — be they illicit, shady or just plain dumb — will never come back to bite them in the arse.

It’s getting so that overzealous Hill staffers and campaign spin doctors can’t rewrite history without someone calling them out for flooding the online ether with lies, damned lies and, well, you know the rest.

Senate hopeful Mike McFadden, the Republican pick to challenge Minnesota Democrat Al Franken this fall, received a crash course in transparency after aides got caught tinkering with unflattering responses to a divisive TV spot. Full story

July 9, 2014

Disgraced ‘Duke’ Cunningham Now a Free Man

Disgraced Duke Cunningham Now a Free Man

Cunningham, left, is now a free man. (CQ Roll Call File Photo.)

After eight years in prison and one year of post-prison monitoring, former Rep. Randy “Duke” Cunningham, R-Calif., is now a free man.

According to local reports, a federal judge recently granted the disgraced congressman an early release from the monitoring, which was supposed to last for an additional two years. Cunningham resigned from office in 2005 and was sent to prison after pleading guilty to bribery, fraud and tax evasion.

The Vietnam veteran and former Navy pilot told U-T San Diego that he regretted how his conviction affected his family and friends.

“I would tell my constituents and my friends that I’m sorry for the actions I took,” Cunningham said. “There is not a day goes by that I don’t ask myself, how the hell did I do what I did? You get caught up in something.”

The 72-year-old former congressman reportedly lives in a scenic gated community in Arkansas.

June 24, 2014

Anthony Weiner Suggests Cutting Adam Kuhn a Break

Sex scandal vet Anthony Weiner seems to believe Adam Kuhn, the disgraced ex-chief of staff who tendered his resignation Tuesday to Rep. Steve Stivers after an affair imploded and private photos found their way online, is getting a raw deal.

“Leave the kid alone,” the former New York Democrat urged HOH, and, presumably, the rest of the world, after we sought out his advice for weathering a potentially career-ending dalliance.

As first reported by POLITICO, Kuhn’s personal and professional lives collided last week after his still-married ex-girlfriend, retired porn star Jennifer Roubenes Allbaugh, sought revenge for his leaving her by broadcasting a snapshot of his penis online.

The picture has since been deleted and her Twitter account (@rubyadultstar) disabled.

But the remnants of the devastating spat live on.

 

Full story

June 6, 2014

Sleazy Pol Sparks Spectacular Reddit Guessing Game

Reddit, the online hub known for its no-holds-barred “Ask Me Anything” discussions has been consumed by the SHOCKING! (shocking?) revelation that some elected official, somewhere may have slipped a paramour a few bucks to keep quiet about their extracurricular activities.

“Relative of mine slept with a notable politician and was paid to keep quiet. Has the hush letter in writing,” a Redditor who posts under the moniker diztorted floated in a forum rife with heartbreaking tales of childhood molestation and jarring anecdotes about stumbling upon unknown siblings/secret second families.

Unlike the surreptitious financial support former North Carolina senator and Democratic presidential hopeful John Edwards sent mistress Rielle Hunter’s way, or the consolation prize former Nevada Republican Sen. John Ensign served up to one-time aide Doug Hampton, after bedding his wife, Cynthia, this purported philanderer apparently had the foresight to contractually bar the other party from ever saying a word about what had transpired between the two of them.

“This is ‘House of Cards’ stuff here, Underwoods be damned,” said a commenter who goes by TheSouthernPunk.

Soon, everyone begun weighing in on the hush-hush, hanky-panky. Full story

May 29, 2014

Redskins Magically Fumble Senate Shaming Campaign

They may not be much for winning on any given Sunday. But man, oh man, do the Washington Redskins know how to keep things interesting.

 

 

Their latest attempt at generating positive press in the face of months years decades of criticism stemming from an unwavering commitment to what a growing chorus of opponents perceive to be a grossly insensitive moniker couldn’t have been more of a disaster, as the incredibly overconfident front office tried to turn the tables on Capitol Hill by urging fans to flood the social media feeds of Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., with pro-Skins rhetoric.

The public relations audible comes just one week after half the Senate petitioned NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell to follow NBA Commissioner Adam Silver’s lead on Donald Sterling and big-foot Redskins owner Daniel Snyder.

The Internet, naturally, exploded.

And not exactly the way D.C.’s embattled football club likely envisioned.

Sure, some supportive tweets broke through here and there.

But the online discourse also veered into all kinds of morale-dampening territory, including:

 

  • Revisiting White Power advocacy

 

 

Full story

May 13, 2014

Bill Maher: Michael Grimm Has ‘Likely Flipped Himself’ on #FlipaDistrict

Bill Maher: Michael Grimm Has Likely Flipped Himself on #FlipaDistrict

Has Grimm “flipped himself?” (Tom Williams/CQ Roll Call File Photo)

Bill Maher might be giving up on “flipping” Rep. Michael G. Grimm’s district.

The liberal comedian explained on his HBO show “Real Time” last week that the New York Republican is probably now capable of putting his seat in Democratic hands all by himself.

“There has been a development that I must tell you we here at ‘Real Time’ could not foresee,” said Maher, “and that is that the very first schmoe that we put up on our Tweet 16 board of finalists … has most likely flipped himself by getting arrested and possibly going to prison.” Full story

April 30, 2014

Boehner Challenger Let Go Over ‘Electile Dysfunction’ Ad

J.D. Winteregg, a tea-party-aligned Republican challenging Speaker John A. Boehner, has lost his post as an adjunct professor at a Christian university for a campaign ad touting his congressional bid as a cure for “electile dysfunction.”

“If you have a Boehner lasting longer than 23 years, seek immediate medical attention,” says the ad’s narrator.

Winteregg works as an adjunct French professor at Cedarville University, a Baptist institution in Ohio, but the parody of television’s ubiquitous erectile dysfunction commercials prompted the school to tell him they’d be cutting ties.

“My supervisor from the university called and told me that because of that ad, my relationship with them would end at the end of my contract,” Winteregg told CQ Roll Call.  “It’s a private institution.  They can do what they want and I respect their decision.”

The ad “did not represent the views or values of Cedarville University,” spokesman Mark Weinstein said in a statement. “Cedarville University does not engage in partisan politics and holds a high regard for displaying Christian values in the community.”

Winteregg said he does not regret the campaign ad, acknowledging that his goal was to increase his name recognition and “it worked.”

The high school French teacher said he wanted to focus on the ad’s message. Winteregg said Boehner is “out of touch with us.  He’s been in D.C. too long.”

The ad takes some personal punches at Boehner, saying, “Other signs of ‘electile dysfunction’ may include extreme skin discoloration, the inability to punch oneself out of a wet paper bag or maintain a spine in the face of liberal opposition.”

The video has more than 320,000 views on YouTube.

April 29, 2014

Alan Grayson’s Divorce Keeps Getting Weirder

The problem isn’t that Rep. Alan Grayson and his spouse, Lolita, are stuck in a horrifically troubled union. It’s that the two should have never been allowed to take the misguided plunge in the first place.

Alan Grayson’s Divorce Keeps Getting Weirder

(Tom Williams/CQ Roll Call File Photo)

At least, that’s what the Florida Democrat is now arguing, after discovering that Lolita didn’t officially split from a previous beau until four years after the Graysons had tied the knot.

The Orlando Sentinel has all the sordid details about the kooky chronology, as well as the latest he said, she said from the feuding camps’ flabbergasted legal teams.

The one development we simply could not ignore is that the lawmaker is now petitioning for possession of the 1981 DeLorean in his auto collection.

No word on whether he’s got a flux capacitor in there that could help him race back to 1990 and halt this train wreck of a relationship from ever happening.

Overheard: Kissing Congressman ‘Respectfully Disagrees’

“I do not feel it’s in my constituents’ best interest to leave them without representation for the second time in less than a year.”

— Rep. Vance McAllister, explaining why he has rebuffed Majority Leader Eric Cantor’s request that he resign.

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