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Posts in "Whuck"
August 15, 2014
Heard on the Hill continues its look back at the best Hits and Misses from 2014, this week focusing on Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi’s love for children, baseball and fist pumps.
August 8, 2014
It’s been far too long since we’ve had a Gene Roddenberry acolyte railing against societal injustices on the House floor.
But that could all change this fall— assuming North Carolinians are willing to stun political prognosticators and transport long shot candidate David Waddell to Capitol Hill come November.
Waddell made national headlines earlier this year after jumping ship from the Indian Trail town council using Klingon.
Per the Charlotte Observer, the starry-eyed pol has since secured enough signatures to guarantee his spot as a write-in candidate in the upcoming midterm elections.
Our politics team has tagged incumbent Democrat Kay Hagan as one of the 10 most vulnerable senators in the current cycle, but it sounds like Waddell is well aware he’s light years away from a lock.
“I’m not going to tell you I’m starting to pack [for Washington],” Waddell told the Observer. “It’s a mission to get a message out.”
August 4, 2014
As cell phones, rhetorical questions and Chinese drywall graced the House and Senate floor, some members prepped for “summer vacation,” while others just could not wait to get to Waffle House.
July 31, 2014
Updated 8:12 p.m. | With the August recess in jeopardy and House Republicans in total disarray, the arm-twisting on Capitol Hill is getting pretty intense.
Just ask the unfortunate aide who dared cross the path of a tardy Don Young.
NBC News producer Frank Thorp V caught the late-for-the-conference-meeting Alaska Republican’s manhandling of an unsuspecting staffer on camera. Per Thorp’s Twitter feed, the aide had attempted to redirect Young to enter the already in-progress GOP strategy session through another doorway when things got physical.
“While returning to the GOP conference meeting to discuss the ongoing situation on our southern border, I was caught off guard by an unidentified individual who was physically blocking me from reentering the room,” Young said in a statement. “Regardless, my reaction was wrong and I should have never placed my hands on the young man.”
July 23, 2014
After intently studying the last project Sen. John Walsh turned in to the United States War College, New York Times reporter Jonathan Martin has uncovered what appears to be a heavily plagiarized final product.
This startling revelation, compounded by Team Walsh’s head-scratching misrepresentation of the Montana Democrat’s academic credentials earlier this year, means Walsh suddenly has a lot more ‘splaining to do.
His best bet? Committing the following to memory:
Confidence is high George Costanza won’t mind you cribbing from the best.
July 22, 2014
Rep. John D. Dingell has spent nearly 24 hours trying to wrap his head around the dizzying world of celebutantes. And it ain’t working.
After being stumped by a seemingly random tweet from someone at the Environmental Protection Agency — which has, of course, since been scrubbed from existence — trumpeting their standing in reality TV star Kim Kardashian’s nascent iPhone-friendly time-suck, the Michigan Democrat apparently turned to staff for a crash course in all things O. J. Simpson’s-former-lawyer’s-since-remarried-wife’s-brood’s plans to prove Andy Warhol wrong.
(Et tu, EPA?)
Team Dingell did not respond to queries regarding whether the debrief on the reigning tabloid queen/bride of hip-hop mogul Kanye West/mother of North West included “A Clockwork Orange”-like screening of TMZ clips, binge-watching of E!’s burgeoning Kardashian-centric programming (have the pets been given shows yet?) or a quick flip-through men’s magazines.
Staff has now informed me of what a Kardashian is. I’m only left with more questions.
— John Dingell (@john_dingell) July 22, 2014
It’s obvious, however, that the pop culture cram session clearly didn’t take. Full story
July 18, 2014
Kentucky voters needn’t worry about hunting for Gil Fulbright’s name (at least that’s what it is this week) in voting booths come November. But they should get used to seeing his shit-eating grin over the next few months.
Running the totally fake pol Fulbright (or Phillip MaMouf-Wifarts) is the latest stunt by anti-corruption advocates Represent.Us, the provocateurs behind last summer’s “stripping senator” show and the least appetizing power lunch in recorded history.
The advocacy group has, so far, raked in $30,000-plus to help crowbar Fulbright into the high-stakes standoff between Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell and Kentucky Secretary of State Alison Lundergan Grimes.
An anonymous online scold has begun a virtual game of cat and mouse with elected officials, awarding leaders willing to reach across party lines for the greater good with quirky honors while ripping those who just plain cross lines a new one.
Although a relative newcomer to the social mediasphere, “PolitiCat,” the nom de plume of the political science grad hoping to groom fellow would-be pundits, has set its sights on getting pols and voters to more carefully consider their actions.
“I aim to break into the consciousness of the general public, particularly younger people with regard to voter responsibility. I want to highlight the behavior of lawmakers and public figures, especially to ‘catch them being good’ vis a vis advancing bipartisanship,” PC asserted via email.
That outreach has, so far, not always resonated with intended allies (a la the Wichita, Kan., radio host who just didn’t “get” one muddled missive).
@AtPolitiCat I’ll be honest, I have no idea what this tweet means.
— Joseph Ashby (@JosephAshbyShow) July 11, 2014
We, too, were a bit stumped by what seemed to be a nonsensical exchange with Rep. Patrick Murphy — until PC explained the open letter was actually a response to an earlier fundraising pitch from the Florida Democrat. Full story
July 11, 2014
Another day, another resource to expose the often clueless political operatives who foolishly tool around the Internet believing their subversive activities — be they illicit, shady or just plain dumb — will never come back to bite them in the arse.
It’s getting so that overzealous Hill staffers and campaign spin doctors can’t rewrite history without someone calling them out for flooding the online ether with lies, damned lies and, well, you know the rest.
Senate hopeful Mike McFadden, the Republican pick to challenge Minnesota Democrat Al Franken this fall, received a crash course in transparency after aides got caught tinkering with unflattering responses to a divisive TV spot. Full story
July 2, 2014
According to House hopeful Timothy Ray Murray, Rep. Frank D. Lucas is not who he says he is but a robot double, or some such thing. A look back at the Oklahoma Republican’s voting record begs to differ.
A CQ Roll Call researcher examined the legislative positions staked out by Lucas since 1994, a decade during which his allegiance to the party line rarely dropped below 90 percent and his support for the commander in chief has fluctuated wildly based on who called the shots in the Oval Office.
Per the study, Lucas’ voting behavior since 2011 — the year in which Murray asserts Lucas, along with other unspecified members of the Sooner State delegation, was executed “by The World Court” in Southern Ukraine for unknown crimes — remains consistent with how the 11-term Oklahoman has routinely carried out his duties.
If anything, Lucas has displayed even more conservative tendencies, trimming his historically tepid support for President Barack Obama (all-time high: roughly 25 percent) from the upper teens to just barely above double-digits.
Hardliner or not, Murray insists he’s the only “man” left in this race.
“This is a situation similar to the Senators’ from Kentucky situation in the 2012 election,” Murray warns on his website (http://www.timothyraymurray.com/), somehow tying in Sen. Rand Paul, R-Ky., to the vast conspiracy of political replicants.
Murray did not respond to queries regarding when he planned to file a formal challenge to the June 24 primary Lucas handily won, claiming 83 percent of the vote to Murray’s 5 percent, nor did he name the other legislative doppelgangers he suspects have infiltrated the current congress.
Team Lucas, meanwhile, declined to comment on whether the disclosure would accelerate the plans of any robot/insect/alien overlords waiting in the wings.
June 24, 2014
Sex scandal vet Anthony Weiner seems to believe Adam Kuhn, the disgraced ex-chief of staff who tendered his resignation Tuesday to Rep. Steve Stivers after an affair imploded and private photos found their way online, is getting a raw deal.
“Leave the kid alone,” the former New York Democrat urged HOH, and, presumably, the rest of the world, after we sought out his advice for weathering a potentially career-ending dalliance.
As first reported by POLITICO, Kuhn’s personal and professional lives collided last week after his still-married ex-girlfriend, retired porn star Jennifer Roubenes Allbaugh, sought revenge for his leaving her by broadcasting a snapshot of his penis online.
The picture has since been deleted and her Twitter account (@rubyadultstar) disabled.
But the remnants of the devastating spat live on.
— Mikey (@pornandrock69) June 21, 2014
Never mind what that bitter old grump President Harry Truman said about folks in Washington having to turn to pets for genuine affection.
A chain of obviously uncomfortable congressional leaders Tuesday proved once again that friendship is the only ship you just can’t sink.
The question is: who embodies the spirit of camaraderie better?
House Speaker John A. Boehner, R-Ohio; Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev.; Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-Ky.; House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif.; Sen. Carl Levin, D-Mich.; and Rep. John Lewis, D-Ga., gently swaying together during the Congressional Gold Medal Ceremony?
Or Girl Scout Troop 16108 from Eden Prairie, Minn.?
We choose to believe they’re all besties.
June 6, 2014
Senators kicked off the first week of June asking for reporters’ names, analyzing the “Wizard of Oz” and taking baths to clean themselves of sewer waste.
Reddit, the online hub known for its no-holds-barred “Ask Me Anything” discussions has been consumed by the SHOCKING! (shocking?) revelation that some elected official, somewhere may have slipped a paramour a few bucks to keep quiet about their extracurricular activities.
“Relative of mine slept with a notable politician and was paid to keep quiet. Has the hush letter in writing,” a Redditor who posts under the moniker diztorted floated in a forum rife with heartbreaking tales of childhood molestation and jarring anecdotes about stumbling upon unknown siblings/secret second families.
Unlike the surreptitious financial support former North Carolina senator and Democratic presidential hopeful John Edwards sent mistress Rielle Hunter’s way, or the consolation prize former Nevada Republican Sen. John Ensign served up to one-time aide Doug Hampton, after bedding his wife, Cynthia, this purported philanderer apparently had the foresight to contractually bar the other party from ever saying a word about what had transpired between the two of them.
“This is ‘House of Cards’ stuff here, Underwoods be damned,” said a commenter who goes by TheSouthernPunk.
Soon, everyone begun weighing in on the hush-hush, hanky-panky. Full story
June 4, 2014
To the untrained observer, it may look like this in-flux Faith & Freedom Coalition news release is attempting to put on as happy a face as possible about having to settle for New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie at its conference, instead of nabbing the headline-grabbing Benham Brothers the event promoters clearly had their little hearts set on.
Not so, publicist Dave Mohel assured HOH.