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November 28, 2014

How the Obama-Boehner Relationship is Like the World Cup | Capitol Quip

How the Obama Boehner Relationship is Like the World Cup | Capitol Quip

The United States fought valiantly in the World Cup, but that doesn’t mean we can’t extrapolate a sports metaphor for gridlocked Washington, particularly when it comes to our Capitol Quip captioning contest.

Send us a caption for this week’s contest by leaving it in the comments section. Editors will pick five finalists on Wednesday, and everyone can vote for the winner through Thursday.

To see our previous winners, check us out on Pinterest.

Got Gossip?

Submit your hot tips and juicy gossip. Send us your anonymous tips here

  • Ed Beck

    Up and to the left John, the game plan is to score often and unassisted.

  • Ed Beck

    Your side has launched it’s last Cruz missile.

  • Ed Beck

    This shot is sure to catch a lawsuit.

  • El Puma

    At least my team is playing WITH me, John…

  • Jazzy

    all we gotta do is kick 3-4 million people off emergency unemployment and we win the numbers game. Just fake like you care

  • Jazzy

    Long Term Unemployed seem to be putting up more of a fight than we’d figured. A game of sudden death anyone?

  • Jazzy

    90 minutes of regulation and no trail of emails? Someone is offside. Time for a panel investigation.

  • Jazzy

    Deregulation seems to be the only way to win this thing..

  • Jazzy

    If you let me score I will give you Keystone.

  • LZ126

    Oh yeah? You and what “team?!?”

  • LZ126

    There may be no “I” in “team,” but there’s no “U” in “reality!”

  • LZ126

    Too bad your team has no offensive capability!

  • Ed Beck

    Holy Gridlock Mr. Speaker, it’s time to score!

  • Ed Beck

    I’ll win score one for the people!

  • L. Camino

    Watch the spin I’m going to put on this shot!

  • pericles9

    That net doesn’t have enough loopholes!

  • pericles9

    (First you kick; then you bite.)

  • pericles9

    FIFA THIS, Boehner!

  • pericles9

    (He’s a leftie. Go right.)

  • pericles9

    Hey John! Your shorts were made by immigrant labor!

  • pericles9

    Wasn’t the goal built by Tea Party contractors?

  • pericles9

    The bus stops HERE!

  • pericles9

    Hey Mr. President! NOTHING moves beyond me!

  • LZ126

    Boehner, you can’t win a game by playing defense all the time!

  • American Hostage

    Everyone knows neither one of us has any Balls so why are we even playing games? #renewui

  • Lars K.

    My Executive Order already counts this as a goal anyway.

  • El Puma

    You know I can hear them telling you which way to jump behind that door, right?

  • DRHA

    Sue me?? I have Tim Howard as my defense attorney!

  • EJRotert

    Lucky for me I was really born in Brazil.

  • EJRotert

    Kenya stop this kick, John?

  • disqus_zaCJJeFItp

    No wonder we’ve been playing for 90 minutes without a single goal!

  • disqus_zaCJJeFItp

    Go ahead and bite me, John!

  • disqus_zaCJJeFItp

    You guys could play all day without scoring…here, let me try!

  • EJRotert

    Congressman, you’re no Tim Howard.

  • EJRotert

    Sorry, John. This isn’t stoppage time.

  • EJRotert

    That should draw a red card, John, but I’m focused on the green card.

  • Hal Coxson

    Lame duck? Who’s a lame duck? A little bit of that “magic spray” and I’m as good as new!

  • EJRotert

    Mr. Boehner, tear down that wall!

  • Guest

    If you make this goal I’ll sue

  • http://batman-news.com Hannah

    So sue me!

  • EJRotert

    Tear down that wall! That’s an executive order, John.

  • Bill Seedyke

    Since you’ve barricaded this goal, and all my goals, I’m calling it a score by Executive Order if I hit one of the side signs.

  • EJRotert

    Make that, `Lucky for me I was actually born in Germany.’

  • El Puma

    Step aside John, looks like your team has rendered you unnecessary again.

  • Booberry

    Never fear, Captain Amerika is here.

  • http://batman-news.com Hannah

    Where were you when Brazil needed you?

  • LZ126

    Tim Howard was a friend of mine and you, Mr. Boehner, are no Tim Howard.

  • LZ126

    Even the “Secretary of Defense” couldn’t block THIS shot!

  • LZ126

    I call this my “Immigration Penalty Kick.”

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