John Conyers III Sounds Off
Posted at 7:30 p.m. on Feb. 24, 2013
Aspiring rapper John Conyers III, the eldest son of long-standing Michigan Democrat John Conyers Jr., wants the world to know he’s done with the trifling haters who clouded his youth. And he’s spreading the good word via song and the Web.
The younger Conyers lets his critics have it on his latest track, “Rich Glorious,” a laundry list of the 20-something’s career goals recited over some jazzy horns and mellow keyboard.
During the video, Conyers III flashes screengrabs of the negative publicity he’s had to soldier through, including an incident surrounding the unauthorized use of his father’s government-supplied Cadillac Escalade as well as the 2012 conviction of his mother, Monica, on bribery charges.
“Hey f— making a living, boy, I’m trying to make history/So picture me letting the news nit-pick at me,” he defiantly proclaims, a shimmering sombrero perched atop his highly held head.
His positivity spills over into social media, where Conyers III shares pics and random thoughts — ALWAYS IN ALL CAPS, SO YOU KNOW HE REALLY MEANS IT — whenever inspiration strikes.
“WHEN SOMETHING IS TAKEN AWAY, KNOW THAT IT’S FOR A REASON. SOMETHING BETTER IS ALWAYS COMING. ALWAYS. STAY READY FOR IT” he reasons on his Tumblr page.
He goes even deeper on Twitter, where he drops knowledge under the guise of @MRCONYERS:
“IM OVER REVENGE. IT’S QUIET FOR THAT, NO ENERGY FOR PEOPLE THAT DO F——. ONLY ENERGY FOR GOOD THINGS. IM TOO GREAT. FAR TOO GREAT,” he declares in what we assume must have been a moment of clarity.
“I HATE GOSSIP NEGATIVE VIBES AND ALL THAT S—. I HATE WHEN PEOPLE TALK ABOUT PEOPLE. WHAT ABOUT IDEAS, WHAT ABOUT PHILOSOPHY?” he ponders about the press.
“BEING ‘REAL’ DOESN’T WORK IN BUSINESS. BEING POLITICAL WORKS IN BUSINESS. CHESS S—,” he reveals of his life experience.
“YALL JUST WANT BREAD TO SPEND IT AND SHOW WHAT YOU GOT. IT’S QUIET FOR THAT I NEED BREAD TO HIRE ACCOUNTANTS AND LEGALLY PAY MINIMUM TAX,” he says of his personal fiscal policy.
As for his life plan, Conyers III seems determined to always stay at least one step ahead of, well, everyone.
“KEEP THEM GUESSING,” he posits.