House Toner Scams: Knowing Is Half the Battle

Hey, buddy, want to buy some cheap toner? Not so fast, the House inspector general says.

According to a memo sent to the congressional community from Inspector General Theresa Grafenstine, lawmakers are being targeted with increasing frequency by scammers who claim to sell toner at discounted prices — that are actually as much as 10 times the market rate.

“It is an unfortunate reality that toner vendors will attempt to take advantage of individuals who may be unaware of the existence of this scam,” Grafenstine reflected.
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Capitol Quip: Your Turn to Pick the Golden Winner

Here are the five finalists for this week’s caption contest. Now it’s your turn to vote.

Using the comments section below, vote for your favorite caption until 5 p.m. EDT Thursday.

Here are this week’s finalists:

• “The CBO already counted that gold in the 10-year forecast.”

• “I guess the leprechauns have sheltered it all offshore.”

• “The GAO is going to hear about this.”

• “Empty again? Time to raise the debt ceiling.”

• “We had a four-year campaign to find out the pot o’ gold was empty?”

The cartoon with the winning caption will appear on this blog March 18 and in that day’s print edition of Roll Call. The contest winner will receive a signed color print of his or her Capitol Quip cartoon from the cartoonist, R.J. Matson.

Kissinger to Honor Scowcroft

Former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger is quite the social butterfly these days.

Back in January, the 89-year-old statesman honored his former boss, the late President Richard Nixon, at an event at the Mayflower Hotel celebrating the 100th birthday of the controversial president.

On Wednesday night, Kissinger will present Brent Scowcroft with the National Defense University Foundation’s first International Statesman and Business Advocate Award.

Scowcroft served as national security adviser under Presidents Gerald Ford and George Bush. He and Zbigniew Brzezinski, the national security adviser for President Jimmy Carter, have long worked together to advocate greater bipartisanship in U.S. foreign policy.

Also expected to attend the event tonight: Gen. Colin Powell, J.W. “Bill” Marriott, Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., among other notables.

Sanford’s Former CoS Makes Argentina-Pope Joke, Wins Twitter

Remember former South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford? The Republican one, the one who’s running for the Palmetto State’s 1st District seat? He made quite a splash when his gubernatorial staff lost him somewhere on the Appalachian Trail and he popped up again with his mistress in Argentina. 

Today, just after the brand-spanking-new Pope Francis I (nee Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio) was announced, Sanford’s former chief of staff Scott English tweeted: “See, nobody complains when the College of Cardinals goes to Argentina.”

He rounded the tweet off with a #marksanford hashtag.

We’re calling it: English won Twitter.

Rep. Mike Quigley Scores His Life

NBC talking head Chuck Todd floated a fun trial balloon on Twitter, positing that lawmakers should all have theme songs to play them onto TV appearances.

We wholeheartedly concur, and Illinois Democrat Mike Quigley was the first to self-nominate, selecting “Chelsea Dagger” by The Fratellis as his personal anthem:

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Schooling TFA on Identifying Members of Congress

Teach for America — the nonprofit that places bright-eyed and bushy-tailed college grads into low-income, under-performing school districts for two-year teaching stints — is hosting a gala this week to raise money to expand their presence in D.C.-area schools.

The gala will be held at the upscale Omni Shoreham Hotel in the District and boasts an impressive list of attendees, including Sen. Mary L. Landrieu, D-La., biographer Walter Isaacson, D.C. Public Schools Superintendent Kaya Henderson and a performance from the Washington Youth Choir.

But in press releases sent out this week, the keynote speaker was curiously listed as U.S. Sen. Mike Johnson from Colorado.

Didn’t sound familiar. Who could this mystery senator be?

Did it mean Michael Bennet, the Democratic Senator from the Colorado who used to run Denver’s school system? Or maybe Mike Johanns, the Republican from Nebraska whose name is sort of similar, albeit from a different state?

HOH gave TFA a call to get the scoop, and before we even got our question out, the spokeswoman immediately knew what we were going to ask and corrected the release’s mistake.

The speaker is in fact Mike Johnston (note the additional “t”), and he is not a U.S. senator (as you could tell) but is in fact a member of Colorado’s state Senate.

Our sharp eyes also helped TFA correct its mistake of listing John Delaney as a representative from Virginia (the first-term member represents neighboring Maryland).

Snark aside, the event has raised more than $1 million thus far to support TFA’s expansion in the high-need D.C. area school systems. The gala begins Wednesday night at 6:30 p.m. at the Omni Shoreham Hotel in Woodley Park.

Mitt Gets Baked (Goods)

GOP whipping boy Mitt Romney may not have tasted victory last fall.

But that’s no reason to deprive himself of something sweet today:

(Screenshot)

“Happy 66th Dad. Can’t beat a fluffernutter cupcake,” eldest son Tagg writes in his Instragram shoutout.

We’re just happy to see Romney is allowing himself a little something special — graduating from his usual no-frills caffeine-free Diet Coke to an energy-charged pour.

Party on, guv’nor!

CPAC 2013 IN and OUT List

It’s that time of year again, when young conservatives flood the area. They will hail from all over this great land and will paint this town in their own very special shade of red for the 2013 Conservative Political Action Committee Conference!

Here’s Part I of our quick list of what is CPAC 2013 cool (and what is so 2012), with Part II coming Thursday.
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Reading Into Congressional Renovations

What’s brown and white and has sequestration sufferers seeing red?

The freshly carved-out members- and staff-only “reading room” in the Cannon House Office Building, of course.

“To me, this reeks of Congress taking special privilege for itself while telling the rest of the nation to tighten its belt,” a clearly perturbed HOH reader fired off after stumbling upon the luxuriously appointed extension of the House Library. Staffers used to trekking down to the basement “stacks” to retrieve research materials can now avail themselves of the same historical documents in Cannon 263 — with the comfort of modern amenities.
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Better Luck Next Time

Restaurant Associates' offering. (Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

The Mickey D's special. (Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

In this corner there’s Mickey D’s, the fast food kingpin that’s ruined many a Lenten fast by dangling its signature, limited-time-only “Shamrock Shake” in front of sweets-seekers for more than four decades.

And in the other corner we have Restaurant Associates, the scrappy congressional caterer looking to keep frozen confection lovers on Capitol Hill by offering their version of the seasonally inspired treat.

Were this an actual boxing match, RA would get KO’d in the first round.

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Ron Kind’s #DayintheLife

Wisconsin Democratic Rep. Ron Kind wants to pull back the curtain on what it’s like punching the clock here in Washington, a congressional show-and-tell that he hopes to accomplish via his #DayintheLife campaign.

(Douglas Graham/CQ Roll Call)

Per his Twitter feed, Kind plans to document what he does here on a day-to-day basis, pledging to post pictures and field questions about his official duties throughout Wednesday.

A Kind aide told HOH that staffers came up with the original idea to micro-blog away an entire day, stressing that there are no prepared photos or canned responses at the ready.

“This is going to be very spontaneous,” the Kind aide said, noting that posts authored by the congressman would be signed “RK” while staff-supplied responses would appear as is.

At press time, Kind was not planning to carve out time for a sustained question-and-answer session or anything akin to a Twitter town hall. It sounds, in fact, like he’d actually prefer to wing it.

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Sports Legends Blitz Capitol Hill

No, Charlie Hustle won’t be setting up a folding card table and hawking signatures for cash. But anyone who lives and dies by ESPN should be on the lookout Tuesday night and Wednesday while the Sports & Fitness Industry Association sprints through town.

As part of their push for sports-friendly tax breaks and enhanced physical education programs in schools, SFIA is sending top-tier athletes to blanket the Capitol.

(CQ Roll Call File Photo)

Their team captain is Heisman Trophy winner and “Celebrity Apprentice” alum Herschel Walker, who’ll be joined by a squad of fellow super-humans at an invite-only reception Tuesday evening at the Capitol Visitor Center honoring Reps. Jack Kingston, R-Ga., and Linda T. Sánchez, D-Calif.

Other exemplars of the kinesiological arts expected to be in attendance include: Super Bowl champion Baltimore Ravens Torrey Smith and Bernard Pierce (football), Mia Hamm (soccer), Olympic gold medalist Jenny Simpson (track), 2000 National League MVP Jeff Kent (baseball), Lorena Ochoa (golf), Olympic silver medalist April Ross (beach volleyball), heavyweight champ Deontay Wilder (boxing), Paul Rabil (lacrosse) and repeat Olympic medalist Heather Petri (water polo), among others.

An SFIA aide said the group plans to fan out across the Hill on Wednesday, taking meetings (at least 130) with political players ranging from current GOP golden boy Sen. Marco Rubio of Florida to Rep. John Lewis, D-Ga.

For Honda, Peace Corps Helped Shape His Future in Public Service

Rep. Michael M. Honda, who has been spreading the good word about the Peace Corps for years as a returned volunteer, says it was an experience that helped shape how he reaches out to people as a congressman.

“We were supposed to go in by twos, as partners, so we could sustain each other,” the California Democrat told HOH. “But as we were training, we became more and more individual.”

Honda served in El Salvador from 1965 to ’67, during the program’s nascent years.
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D.C. Heads SXSW

You know how to tell when a giant indie-music/movie/tech festival has jumped the shark? When there is a relatively high chance you’ll run into a congressman, senator and/or a White House surrogate or two.

The South by Southwest festival in Austin, Texas, which is under way now, has been a mecca for music geeks the nation over since it first kicked off in 1987. Over the past couple of years, however, the indie festival has expanded and gone more than a little bit corporate, with sponsors such as Doritos and AT&T. It’s not just about the music any more. “South by,” as the kids call it, is now a giant three-pronged behemoth — SXSW Music, SXSW Film and SXSW Interactive — and the whole show is put on by a company called SXSW Inc.

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Take Five With Rep. Trey Radel

It’s Tuesday. That means it’s time for another Take Five, HOH’s weekly chance to get to know a member of Congress a little better by asking five fun questions relatively unrelated to their legislative work. This week, freshman Rep. Trey Radel, R-Fla., a former journalist, talks about his favorite book and shares with us some advice that he received from his parents while growing up.

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