Five Captions Hoping to Get Pulled Over | Capitol Quip

Five finalists for this week’s caption contest are speeding your way. Now it’s your turn to vote.

Using the comments section below, vote for your favorite caption until 5 p.m. Thursday.

Here are this week’s finalists:

My name? I’m officer Phil I. Buster

Sir, did you know you were going 55 in a 60 vote zone?

Yes, sir, I’m afraid that attempting to pass ANY legislation here is a “moving violation.”

No, sir, a super-majority of the speed limit is not the new normal.

Sir, you’re under arrested development.

The cartoon with the winning caption will appear on this blog on April 29 and in that day’s print edition of Roll Call. The contest winner will receive a signed color print of his or her Capitol Quip cartoon from the cartoonist, R.J. Matson.

When Oscar the Grouch Met Indiana Jones

The folks over at the Smithsonian Museum of America History on Wednesday set up a nifty “Smithsonian on the Hill” event in the foyer of the Rayburn House Office Building. Among the artifacts will be stuff familiar to anyone who grew up watching “Sesame Street” or the “Indiana Jones” movies.

Smithsonian National Museum of American History curators Dwight Bowers and Eric Jentsch help set up props from the “Indiana Jones” movies and “Sesame Street” for the “Smithsonian on the Hill” event the in the Rayburn House Office building foyer. (Chris Maddaloni/CQ Roll Call)

The event will showcase items from upcoming exhibitions, such as Eddie Van Halen’s guitar, George Washington’s christening robe, Civil War memorabilia and Roberto Clemente’s batting helmet.

D.C. Councilman to Congress: Public Market, Please

A group of Ward 6 residents is looking beyond the eyesore that is a rundown government warehouse to a pedestrian-friendly shopping and dining complex that would theoretically bolster the local economy.

The question is, will Congress buy into the vision?

D.C. Councilman Tommy Wells will champion the cause of the Half Street Market initiative, the community-founded group seeking the new mixed-use project, Thursday at a House Oversight and Government Reform Subcommittee on Government Operations field hearing at the barren location, 49 L St. SE.

(Screenshot)

“We are advocating for the creation of a public market and restaurant that will operate a workforce development and education program for D.C. residents, host community education programming, and provide a commercial kitchen incubator with access to small business formation resources for culinary entrepreneurs,” HSM collaborators posted on their online petition page.

Full story

Source of Low D.C. Voter Turnout Located

We think we’ve found the source of the low voter turnout (10 percent) in Tuesday’s Washington, D.C., special election:

Perhaps voters were confused, leading to low turnout for Tuesday’s special election? (Jason Dick/CQ Roll Call)

Signage. It’s important to get it right.

Remember the Maine (Reception)

(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

Maine solons Susan Collins and Angus King hung out with a few hundred of their new best friends Tuesday night at the inaugural Taste of Maine reception.

(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

The event, sponsored by the Maine Chamber of Commerce, brought together roughly two dozen Maine food and beverage professionals for a meet and greet with Capitol Hill’s most famished. (We spotted Sen. Charles E. Schumer, D-N.Y., slipping out with a sample cup of something tasty.) Full story

Tim Kaine’s Quality Hammer Time at Caps Game

This might sound like a bit of a whiskey dream, but rapper and preacher MC Hammer was spotted at Tuesday night’s Washington Capitals game straight chilling with Sen. Tim Kaine, D-Va.

Apparently, Kaine was invited to the game by Caps co-owner Raul J. Fernandez. It was just a coincidence, or divine intervention, that Hammer was also there.

“I’m sure that the senator had a great time,” said Kaine spokeswoman Amy Dudley.

(Photo courtesy @AlfredAjebon)

At least according to this picture of the happy trio, Hammer did not hurt them and they had the best time ever. The Caps, possibly inspired by Kaine and Hammer, defeated the Winnipeg Jets and claimed yet another Southeast Division title.

This is MC Hammer’s second high-profile Washington pop-up this year. In January, he hung out with Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr. and a whole mess of U.S. mayors.

Ohio Democrats Seek Condolence Notes for Ex-Rep. Charlie Wilson’s Family

It’s been a little over a week since former Rep. Charlie Wilson, D-Ohio, died at the age of 70 of complications from a stroke, but Ohio Democrats are still mourning his loss.

The Ohio Democratic Party sent out an email on Monday asking its members to send their condolences to Wilson’s family and praising Wilson for being “a tireless advocate for the middle class.”

“He advocated passionately for the people of Ohio, securing funding for police departments, airport improvements and small-business incubators, among other projects,” Ohio Democratic Party Chairman Chris Redfern said in an email. “Charlie wasn’t afraid to stand up for what he believed in, and courageously voted for universal health care not just once but twice.”

If HOH were sending a condolence letter, we’d praise this jingle that helped Wilson win an astounding write-in primary battle in 2006 that launched his congressional career.

Those looking to write condolence notes (and get on the Ohio Democrats’ email list) can do so here.

Johnny Isakson Brings Up Inconvenient Baucus News

Apparently, all Sen. Max Baucus wanted to do was get through Tuesday morning’s hearing before starting to inform his staff and close allies he was retiring.

But the Montana Democrat never got the chance, as news reports started lighting up iPhones and BlackBerrys just as he was set to convene a hearing on foster care. Sen. Johnny Isakson, R-Ga., approached Baucus before the start of the hearing and said something to the effect of “Congratulations on your news,” a tipster in the room told HOH.

Isakson had kind words for Baucus on Tuesday. (Douglas Graham/CQ Roll Call)

Full story

Next Black Tie Affair Goes NOLA

It’s still days before the glitterati cram into the Washington Hilton for the annual running of the bullpucky known as “Nerd Prom,” but we’re already looking forward to the next stop of the black-tie brigade: the Mardi Gras-themed Radio & Television Congressional Correspondents’ Dinner.

(Courtesy RTCA)

Radio & Television Correspondents’ Association dinner Chairman John Wallace told HOH he’s devoted the past year to planning a blowout party, scheduled for the evening of June 5 ($245 per person), that brings the best of the Big Easy to D.C.

That entailed a few things. First, shifting things from the Convention Center to the National Building Museum. The “wrap-around balconies remind me of the French Quarter,” he said. (Just watch out for the man-eating aquatic features.)

Second: hiring a cheflebrity — “Suffice to say, it’s one of the top chefs in the country,” Wallace stated, adding that the name will be revealed April  29 — to plot an authentically N’awlins dining experience. And finally, recruiting four distinct Crescent City bands, as well as “tribes” of dancing Indians, as entertainment. All this, and carving out time to crown a king and queen of the evening.

Full story

Sequester Grounds Mile-High Trysts

General panic has hit airports over the air traffic control furloughs brought about by sequestration. Many media outlets, airlines and customers have been wringing their hands over what some are calling the “airport armageddon.” The frisky among us, meanwhile, have used it as an excuse to hook up.

The dating site MeetattheAirport.com sent out a release Tuesday claiming it’s experienced an 800 percent jump in membership since Sunday night, just as the hard-core delays in Los Angeles and New York were getting under way.

“We’ve noticed a 300% increase in member sign-ups out of New York and Washington, D.C., in the past 24 hours as people are preparing themselves for longer wait times and delays,” said the site’s founder, Steve Pasternack, who also started the niche site SugarDaddie.com. Full story

Rangel Kinda Sues Boehner

HOH loves any good story that begins with the phrase “Eyebrows raised on Capitol Hill,” particularly when it concerns two old bulls such as Charles B. Rangel, D-N.Y., and Speaker John A. Boehner, R-Ohio, and a lawsuit!

Such is the case with this post by our own David M. Drucker about the lawsuit filed by Rangel seeking to vacate his censure by the Ethics Committee from a few years ago. It turns out that while, yes, Boehner is named in the suit, he’s not really the intended target. Instead, the suit takes aim at the bipartisan committee, which was then led by Rep. Zoe Lofgren, D-Calif. Rangel claims the House was “knowingly deceived” by members of the ethics panel.

Of course, Lofgren is no longer the Ethics chairwoman (or on the panel at all). Chalk it up to reason #3,452 that the Ethics committee chairmanship, as members all know, is the most thankless job in Congress.

Fictional Franchise: The Great American Novel

For the second edition of our series that examines fictional characters and the real people who represent them in Congress, we explore the franchise of American literature heroes.

The rules go like this: We decide where a fictional character lives and then look up who represents them in the House. (See more on the rules here.) We welcome any dispute with our assessments in the comments section below.

The Great American Novel is a relatively easy topic to research — public curiosity in literary characters is so strong that most of the places listed below built tourist industries around these novels’ settings.

And this writer might have to plead guilty to dragging her family out to Great Neck, Long Island, when she was 19 in her quest for the spirit of Zelda Fitzgerald. So let’s start with the love of Zelda’s life, who wrote the quintessential Great American Novel.

Jay Gatsby
“The Great Gatsby,” by F. Scott Fitzgerald
West Egg, N.Y.: Democratic Rep. Steve Israel

Israel’s district is full of money.

This is especially true in the enclaves along Long Island’s North Shore, the home of both Gatsby’s noveau riche West Egg (Kings Point) home and the post-Buchanan home in East Egg (Sands Point). The mansion that many believe inspired the Buchanan home was on the market in 2005 for $28 million, according to Forbes.

Judging by the trailer of director Baz Luhrmann’s new movie adaptation,  Leonardo DiCaprio’s attempt at a Locust Valley Lockjaw accent sounds terribly fake and contrived.

Perfect.

Full story

Steve Stockman Staffer Takes Twitter Feeds Seriously

Rep. Steve Stockman’s Twitter feed, never a source of dull content, took off last week, giving its followers a series of real-time updates of the events unfolding around the manhunt for the second Boston Marathon bombing suspect, with live tweets of scanner chatter and general news curation.

The Texas Republican, though, largely doesn’t tweet from his official feed, leaving it to his communications director, Donny Ferguson.

Many official congressional Twitter and Facebook feeds are managed by staffers, so that isn’t unusual. Still, it’s not often you see a member of Congress live-tweeting a breaking news event, particularly in the wee hours.

Ferguson told HOH that he woke up coughing Thursday and couldn’t go back to bed. So, like many people, he couldn’t tear himself away from the chaotic events unfolding in the Boston area. Ferguson began to report police scanner news out of the congressman’s official feed. He did not identify himself as a staffer. Ferguson was also tweeting from his own personal account.

It is important to note that the tone of the two feeds vary. Ferguson keeps the congressman’s pretty focused and serious, while his personal feed is a little looser and more chatty.

Ferguson acknowledged that it was a little unusual to have an official congressional Twitter feed live-tweet a police scanner and a developing news story. Ferguson also said that, because the media had gotten aspects of the story wrong so many times, he felt a responsibility to get accurate information to the congressman’s followers.  Full story

The Maine Event

Collins and King are tentatively scheduled to be at the Taste of Maine reception Tuesday night. (Bill Clark/CQ Roll Call)

Nearly two dozen hospitality vendors — including breweries, distilleries and celeb-endorsed sweets-makers — will give homesick New Englanders what they’ve been missing most during Tuesday night’s Taste of Maine reception in the Russell Senate Office Building.

The inaugural event, sponsored by the Maine Chamber of Commerce, is invite-only and is expected to be restricted to Senate staff and select media. Full story