It’s that time of year again. The start of those long, swampy months when true Washingtonians trudge into offices, swipe at mosquitoes and rely on interns to pick up their slack. That’s right, everyone. The interns are coming.
Don’t worry: We’re definitely not rewarding them for a few months of tedium with a livable wage, but they do get InternsRock and a whole week of appreciation through citywide discounts.
June 7-16, newly arrived interns can make their way to events across D.C. that will celebrate their arrival with several “meet and greets” and contests around the city. Interns should also register for a free key-tag, which will get them discounted Nationals baseball tickets, lower rate Vida Fitness gym memberships and discounts at more than 60 bars, shops and restaurants around D.C. for the entire summer.
Assuming no congressional office has already called dibs, the forward-thinking folks at the Washington Free Beacon want the smoldering Seminole with her heart set on working for free in D.C. to know they’ve reserved a special place just for her.
The online paper Thursday jumped into the bidding war for the jobless “smoke show” that HOH told you about Wednesday. Her GOP staffer friend had gamely advertised — via a congressional email list — her physical attributes but lamented that because she was a Democrat, he was having trouble finding her a job.
The Free Beacon summarily browbeat those who had chosen to fixate on the Florida State University alumna’s looks instead of applying the “walk and chew gum” standard of hiring practices.
“I’d like to remind everyone, Hill internship coordinators and scolding scolds alike, how qualified does one have to be to become an intern at Congressional office?” Associate Editor Robert Charette argued via his company-sponsored blog. “Can she answer a phone professionally and not get her tour lost in the Capitol? Sign her up!”
The five finalists for this week’s caption contest are ready for your votes.
Using the comments section below, vote for your favorite caption until 5 p.m. EDT Thursday.
Here are this week’s finalists:
While the App costs $5.99, it saves you billions.
Genius? Who needs a genius when we’ve got Congress?
This is our newest product: The iEvade!
The brogue takes some getting used to but the tax savings are worth it.
If avoiding paying taxes is your thing, we have an App for that.
The cartoon with the winning caption will appear on this blog June 3 and in that day’s print edition of Roll Call. The contest winner will receive a signed color print of his or her Capitol Quip cartoon from the cartoonist, R.J. Matson.
Art and Soul has retired the crab boils they’ve indulged in the past few summers in favor of weekly pig and oysters roasts debuting tonight at 5:30 p.m.
(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)
The patio-wide event can be experienced two ways: a $35, 3-course tasting menu or via a la carte snacking of hand carved, heritage pig parts ($5 a pop for your choice of ear, cheek, tongue, jowl, trotters or tail meat). Reservations are recommended, but a restaurant spokeswoman said walk-ins are welcome from 5:30-8:30 pm — or until they run out.
A House Republican staffer recently gave helping a left-leaning pal the old college try, blasting out the following SOS on a congressional email group:
To: Tour Coordinators Subject: Hot D Intern Prospect
One of my friends from college, just graduated and is trying to intern on the Hill this summer. She is a smoke show from FSU, but she happens to be a Dem so I’m having trouble finding her a spot. She’s a smart girl and has worked for FEMA. She’s real cool and gets along with everyone. If one your interns falls through or you can squeeze another in, give her a shot.
Florida ties, from Tampa.
For those not conversant in millennial speak, “smoke show” is shorthand for a very attractive young woman.
But before you get the wrong idea, the GOP aide assured HOH that the coed in question was not the aide’s paramour.
Arizona Republican and Vietnam War veteran John McCain crept into Syria on Memorial Day for a surprise visit with insurgents — a bold maneuver that prompted pal Lindsey Graham to commemorate the trip thusly:
The Twittersphere didn’t take too kindly to the glib remark, bashing the South Carolina Republican — a man who is supposedly so close to the McCain clan that his eldest daughter Meghan McCain considers Graham “an uncle” — for making fun of a potentially explosive situation. Full story
The cultural observers over at Deadspin devoted part of the holiday weekend to isolating the sections of the National Anthem most likely to trip up would-be patriotic singers.
Now, we’re not saying this clip of Congress belting out the “Star Spangled Banner” is the new Zapruder film:
But we couldn’t help notice that the cameraman pulled way, way out as soon as lawmakers entered the trouble zone (“whose broad stripes … “) and stayed mercifully away from potentially embarrassing close-ups until the very end.
In HOH’s latest edition of Fictional Franchise — fictional characters and the real people who represent them in Congress — we take on the great villainesses of movies, television and literature.
The tools for misery runs the spectrum, from killing animals to bearing false witness to child abuse.
As for the series, the rules go like this: We decide where a fictional character lives and then look up who represents them in the House. (Learn more here.)
Whether it is physical or psychological torment, these girls got it going on.
Regina George (Rachel McAdams) “Mean Girls” Evanston, Ill., Democratic Rep. Jan Schakowsky
We all had a Regina George in high school. She embodies the term “mean girl” and for good reason. Tina Fey based her screenplay on the book “Queen Bees and Wannabes” by Rosalind Wiseman that profiles the behaviors of teenage female non-violent psychopaths.
“She lives in Evanston and though the movie doesn’t specify where exactly, given the size of her house and her lifestyle she’s likely up north, closer to the border of Wilmette, and east, closer to [Lake Michigan],” CQ Roll Call reporter and Wilmette-native Meredith Shiner said.
Update | Schakowsky offered this comment on Regina:
Illustrator R.J. Matson’s latest cartoon needs a caption.
Apple is back in the news, but it’s not because of a new iPad or iPhone. The company’s tax avoidance strategies are coming under fire from some and serving as a rallying cry for tax overhaul from others. What’s really important, though, is that it all provided us with another Capitol Quip opportunity.
Leave your caption in the comments section below. Editors will pick five finalists on Wednesday, and then everyone can vote for the winner until Thursday afternoon. The winner gets a signed print from Matson.