Politically Appropriate Dating
Posted at 3:09 p.m. on Oct. 24, 2012
Are you a single dyed-in-the-wool conservative or a blue-blooded liberal?
Have you ever found yourself falling for someone’s personality before being shocked into a horrible reality? Suddenly, you learn that the person you’re starting to care about is actually your political opposite! Horror of horrors. Cats and dogs, living together!
Now there is BlueStateDate.com and RedStateDate.com, two separate but equal dating sites that cater to the politically obsessed single person looking for love.When singles surf over to the partisan dating site of their choice, both sites will ask you what your favorite event of the election season is. In other words, do you live for the conventions, debates, rallies or election night? And, no, “None of the above. I have a life” is not an option.
Then you fill out information such as height, ethnicity, body type, etc. They must not expect too many Buddhists to join up, because they’ve spelled the ancient religion as “buddist.”
Another fun option potential partisan daters are given: You can choose “broken engagement” as your martial status and “yes, but only cigars” when you’re prompted to answer if you smoke.
After that, things continue to deviate from normal dating sites. Prompts ask for views on taxes and the economy, foreign policy and social issues. It takes all the answers and plots the subject on a political spectrum between extreme liberal and extreme conservative.
The questions are the same on both sites.
Then, the partisan dater is asked about favorite books and movies, as well as political inspirations and least favorite political figures.
Some of the options the liberal dater can pick are, um, interesting.
For example, when a Democrat is asked to list political heroes, some of the prompts include, “Mahmoud Ahmadinejad,” “Osama bin Laden” and “Majority of Middle Eastern Regimes.”
And when the Blue State Dater is asked for political philosophers, he or she can type in their favorite or choose from among philosophers such as Mao Zedong and Karl Marx.
Yes, kids, strict partisan dating lines have been drawn because everyone knows that Mary Matalin and James Carville are the exception, not the rule.