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November 1, 2014

Quorans Dissect Political Stereotypes

Election Day might be the only time some Americans even bother thinking about politics. But for a handful of true believers, wrestling with the weight of party affiliation appears to be an all-consuming challenge.

Members of the inquisitive Quora community have been opening up about the lowlights of pledging allegiance to all sides of the political spectrum.

Marcia Peterson Buckie, a self-described liberal, lampooned her day-to-day existence thusly:

“Well, it’s a hectic life: with collecting my monthly payments from George Soros and riding around in my limousine encouraging everyone to get on the governments teat. Then there are my lesson plans to teach how to be a lesbian and a communist. … Then there is the climate change hoax that I’m trying to spread,” she joked in a post delineating purported leftist agenda items.

Her actual gripe?

“Having other people define your views for you, through their filter or lens,” Buckie explained.

Michael Lee, who fields questions under the “Ask a Rational Conservative” banner, was equally droll.

“It’s so hard to get poor peoples’ tears out of the handmade silk shirts that I wear while I subjugate women, carry concealed weapons into schools, churches, and Starbucks locations, and vote to enrich myself by ripping the social safety net into tatters and processing the resulting impoverished people into a proprietary nutritional goo,” he sneered, tongue planted firmly in cheek.

His biggest issue: guilt by association.

“Mention that you’re a Republican in certain circles and you’re more likely to hear a subsequent tirade about [Michele] Bachmann or the Koch brothers than a reasoned discussion of virtually any contemporary political topic,” Lee bemoaned.

Libertarian Andrew Gutsch, meanwhile, is sick of being lumped in with rabble-rousers who don’t actually share his free-market philosophy.

“Ron Paul and his son Rand are usually seen as the ideal Libertarian candidates, until they start talking about pro-life and the gold standard,” Gutsch warns. “Then you have the massive cluster****, anarchist orgy that is the Tea Party Movement. Them, and the assorted blunders of [Sarah] Palin, Bachmann, and Co., get lumped in with the Libertarians, and then we all look like some kind of ‘Mad Max’/1% hybrid on an episode of [Doomsday] Preppers.”

What’s most insulting is those he’d like to hear from are so cavalierly silenced.

“The fact that Gary Johnson was excluded from all debates during the last election is criminal,” Gutsch complained, referring to the former New Mexico GOP governor who was a libertarian presidential candidate.

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