Someone Lost Underwear in Press Gallery
Posted at 12:01 a.m. on Aug. 1, 2012
The Senate Daily Press Gallery was rocked Tuesday morning when a pair of baby blue panties were found under the defibrillator. By noon, however, they had disappeared without fanfare.
What do these lost drawers say about the state of the gallery? Was it a simple mistake? Or did someone plant the pants? Answers are still forthcoming. There are no suspects in the case.
HOH consulted the leading team of lost-underwear pundits.* And though these undergarment experts were nowhere near the press gallery, they have several theories.
One liberal panty pundit suggests the pair of baby blues fell out of a gym bag.
“It was probably just a mistake,” she said.
A more conservative pants pundit, however, disagreed vehemently.
“People can control where they drop their pants,” he said.
For his part, a libertarian pants scholar insists that people should be able to drop their drawers wherever they choose.
“Does ‘Live Free or Die’ mean nothing?!” he asked.
*It was more like our friends, colleagues and sources.