Roll Call: Latest News on Capitol Hill, Congress, Politics and Elections
February 8, 2016

The Department of New Year’s Resolutions | Capitol Quip


It’s that time of year again for new year’s resolutions. With a difficult 2013 behind it, what will Washington, D.C., want to do with the coming year, which also happens to be a midterm congressional election year? This brings us to this week’s Capitol Quip.

Send us a caption for this week’s contest by leaving it in the comments section. Editors will pick five finalists on Jan. 8, and everyone can vote for the winner through Jan. 9.

To see our previous winners, check us out on Pinterest.

Got Gossip?

Submit your hot tips and juicy gossip. Send us your anonymous tips here

  • Booberry

    I transferred from the Department of Roads Paved With Good Intentions.

  • Booberry

    Could you go down to the dumpster and pick up some new resolutions?

  • Booberry

    The government shutdown didn’t hurt us a bit.

  • Socialism is Organized Evil

    We rely on learned rules because our intellect cannot fully comprehend all the details of our complex, distributed, modern civilization.

  • L. Camino

    Get me the appropriations committee files and hold all calls.

  • LZ126

    Toss this one in the circular file labeled “Less Partisanship.”

  • buzzard

    “Should old elections be forgot”

  • Ezell H

    Just put’m in the dumpster with all the others. No one interested in resolving anything except what goes in their wallet.

  • PB

    What? Return to regular order?? I forgot what that looks like!

  • Steve

    I know one we can all keep – let’s agree to disagree!

  • PB

    Last year we asked for transparency and look what that got us!

  • KMH

    Let’s focus on resolutions we can keep, like continuous partisan rancor and paralyzing dysfunction.

  • KMH

    We have to work fast, people. Our fiscal year begins on January 1 and ends in cruel defeat on January 2.

  • disqus_zaCJJeFItp

    I’m resolving not to waste my time on any more resolutions.

  • disqus_zaCJJeFItp

    Do we HAVE to?

  • disqus_zaCJJeFItp

    Let’s just party like it’s 2012.

  • disqus_zaCJJeFItp

    You know, they’re about to take this scaffolding for the Capitol Dome renovation project.

  • pericles9

    Who forgot to move in the paper shedder?

  • Poca11

    I’ve got a great idea. Let’s make a resolution this year that we can keep. How about we resolve to do nothing.

  • Epthen

    At least our track record is better than WMATA’s.

  • Bill Seedyke

    As usual, we’re right on schedule and under- (what-used-to-be-called the) budget!

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