Roll Call: Latest News on Capitol Hill, Congress, Politics and Elections
February 7, 2016

The ‘Watergate’ Valentines Continue to Stream In

Marco Rubio post-SOTU


Now that the election is firmly in the rearview mirror, it’s time to put away yesteryear’s distractions and move on to the next great time suck.

That, we assume, was Comedy Central’s thinking when they decided to flood Twitter today with their #RubioValentines campaign.

Sen. Marco Rubio, R-Fla., is cooler than mountain spring water right now, thanks largely to his infamous, mid-SOTU rebuttal whistle whetting. So Team CC wisely kicked off the satirical love fest with some hydration-related ribbing:

“Like my thirst, our love cannot be quenched,” they tweeted this morning.

In-kind quips have been pouring in ever since.

Our faves (so far):

  • “I’d go to Poland Spring and back for you” — @emilypoe
  • “Roses are red Violets are blue I don’t know how old the earth is But I think I like you” — @amberleighmoe
  • “My love for you is Straight Outta Compton” — @tscottsman
  • “You know what they say about the size of a man’s water bottle…” — @TzviaBR
  • “Tonight honey, there’ll be no re•butt•ing.” — @PhlatusMaximus

Submissions continue to trickle in …

Got Gossip?

Submit your hot tips and juicy gossip. Send us your anonymous tips here

Sign In

Forgot password?



Receive daily coverage of the people, politics and personality of Capitol Hill.

Subscription | Free Trial

Logging you in. One moment, please...