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August 31, 2014

Trey Gowdy Does His Best Don Rickles With Boehner Joke

Trey Gowdy Does His Best Don Rickles With Boehner Joke

Gowdy, right, needles colleagues Boehner, Graham and Harris. (Bill Clark/CQ Roll Call File Photo)

Who knew Rep. Trey Gowdy, R-S.C., was so deft with a punchline (admittedly, a pretty corny one)?

The former prosecutor had the audience at Maryland GOP’s Red, White and Blue dinner last week howling over a shaggy-dog tale featuring fellow Republicans Speaker John A. Boehner, Sen. Lindsey Graham and Rep. Andy Harris in heaven.

Here’s a transcript of the joke, currently getting a lot of attention on YouTube:

“Before we talk about how to win again — and I know this is the first time I’ve met many of you and it’s socially inappropriate to share the details of a dream with a group that you’ve just met. I don’t know how many of you have a background in psychiatry or psychology, but I did, I had a horrible dream last night. If you’d give me just a couple of minutes I’d love to share it with you and if any of you can interpret it, that’d be great too.

“In my dream John Boehner, Lindsey Graham and Andy Harris all tragically died and, and went to heaven the same day. It can happen, I guess. Two of ‘em for sure. I think, I think it was a lightning bolt hitting a golf cart but I am not for sure how they died.

“But I know that they got to heaven and St. Peter said, “Look, I know you’re big shots on earth but there are rules up here. You need to follow the rules or there are going to be consequences.” Well Speaker Boehner was the first person to break the rules in heaven. He broke into a CVS to steal some cigarettes and some tanning lotion.  It’s my dream, it happened. Trust me, I’m a lawyer.

“So in my dream I see John Boehner and he is chained to Nancy Pelosi with a ten-foot long chain. And in a voice as loud as thunder I hear, ‘John Boehner you violated the rules of heaven and this is your punishment for all of eternity.’

“And then I see Lindsey Graham. And Lindsey’s running around in heaven, wanting to know where John McCain is. I’m not going to get into why McCain wasn’t there. That’s up to somebody else but in my dream, in my dream, Senator Graham was chained to Roseanne Barr with a five-foot, a five-foot long chain. And a voice as loud as thunder I hear, ‘Lindsey Graham you have violated the rules of heaven and this is your punishment for all of eternity.’

“And this is where I get emotional because Andy’s a friend. Andy’s a friend but in my dream I see Dr. Andy Harris and he is chained with a five-foot long chain to the former supermodel Cindy Crawford. And in a voice as loud as thunder I hear, ‘Cindy Crawford you have violated the rules — ‘ [interrupted by laughter]

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  • swampland

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  • Yonatan YONATAN

    IT’S NOW WAY PAST THE TIME FOR THE SENATE TO QUICKLY PASS THE UNEMPLOYMENT EXTENSION BILL, FOR THE THREE MILLION UNEMPLOYED FAMILIES WITHOUT BENEFITS SINCE LATE LAST DECEMBER. FOR THE PAST SIX MONTHS WHILE THE REPUBLICANS PLAYED PARTY POLITICS IN THE SENATE, THESE MILLIONS OF FAMILIES HAVE FALLEN DEEPER AND DEEPER INTO FINANCIAL RUIN AND DEBT. THEY NEED IMMEDIATE HELP. IF THE REPUBLICANS CAN FIGHT TO GET THE KOCH BROTHERS OIL PIPELINE BILL PASSED, THEY SHOULD ALSO CARE ENOUGH FOR THE COMMON MAN TO GET THEIR BILL PASSED TOO

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